When you receive horrible news

By Dr. Andy and Renie Bowman
Coffeetimecolumn.com
andybowman839@gmail.com

You received the phone call that buckles your knees. Or hear the police officer’s knock on the door. Or the doctor solemnly walks toward you in the hospital waiting room. And now you have just heard the worst news of your life. You’ve lost the most important person in your world.

Or, maybe you opened the envelope that you assumed would be just another pay check, but found a pink slip. Or you meet with your physician to get the results of your testing, and it’s not good. It could be that you’ve just had to face the fact that your teenager is no longer your angelic cherub from childhood, and will likely be facing years in prison.

So much heartbreak in our world. And way too many of us are going to receive a notification today that will break our hearts and stun our minds to the point of basically nonfunctioning. Until we can pull ourselves back together, somehow.

What do you do now? What are the next steps that you take, after your world has suddenly collided with brutal reality?

Lean. If you have any belief that God is a real Being. If you realize that He truly does care, and that He wants to help you with the trauma in this life, then lean on your faith. God never promised that His people wouldn’t hurt, because pain is part of living on earth for the believer, or the non-believer. But He did promise believers that He would never leave us, and He would help us when pain comes.

Don’t try to be pious. Don’t be so determined to be "leaning on my God" that you deeply bury that emotional wound. Determinedly smiling and showing the world a strong face doesn’t really help you. Buried wounds don’t heal very well. They can end up in anger and bitterness.

Grieve openly. In your own way and for as long as you need. Grieving is natural. Let yourself experience the pain as it comes and goes in your life. So that it can eventually go.

Don’t allow yourself to get stuck. Sometimes people can find themselves stuck in a certain part of healing – or nonhealing. Seek out people who will listen but will also encourage you to walk forward.
Don’t allow yourself to isolate. Dealing with this kind of pain is worse when you do it all alone. Be open to allowing others into your world of pain.

Wait to make any major decisions until you are certain that you are functioning clearly. Grief and pain can cloud your ability to think things through to make good solid choices for your life. You certainly don’t want to make life altering decisions based on thoughts and emotions that are still raw.

What I am saying is basically this: Give yourself time. Time to grieve, time to hurt, time to begin to heal.