Do you dread Christmas?
By Dr. Andy and Renie Bowman
Coffeetimecolumn.com
andybowman839@gmail.com
Do you dread Christmas? Many people do.
Many people find this particular holiday season to be full of heartache, or a nameless void. They can feel a myriad of unwelcome emotions that threaten to overwhelm and sink them into a black hole. Sadness, depression, loneliness, anxiety, or just the very fear of any of those. Any one, or all of these emotions can descend without warning on their lives and take the wheel.
Others around them may understand their problem and attempt to help, or they can be totally clueless. Some will begin avoiding the sufferer or even get annoyed that their own happy season is being sabotaged by such an inconsiderate person.
But what is actually ground zero for this suffering? What is the root cause of the pain people suffer during what is universally accepted as the world’s greatest and happiest holiday time?
Unless you are the victim, you cannot provide a real answer. There is no possible way that one person can know exactly what another is thinking, and therefore feeling, because of those personal thoughts. None of us have ESP, no matter what Aunt Lizzie has claimed.
But we can know this. The emotional pain is real, and is related directly to the thoughts surrounding a time in our lives. And the more painful that time, the more difficult it is to contain and divert our thoughts from it. Think of a dog chasing his tail. That never-ending challenge is a battle in itself. “Will I ever get over this and feel happy at Christmas? Will I ever learn to smile again, and truly mean it?”
Christmas-dreader, you are not alone with this problem. Many others share your pain during this season. Countless others suffer in silence, just like you. And just like you, they paste on the fake smile and use their artificial laughter for the sake of those around them. They too have learned the emergency-driven art of 8/4/8 x 15 breathing, to take control of spiraling anxiety and fear.
Now, I do realize that this is no comfort to you, to know that others are struggling also. So, what can I offer you that will begin to ease the pain of memories that don’t allow you to breathe easily? To promise a future will finally allow your pain to begin subsiding into a dull ache? And provide you with real reasons to sleep well, and then awaken with a zest for living again.
I’m no miracle worker. Personally, I can’t offer that hope to you, but I know the One who can. He definitely wants to help you find ways to handle your pain. If you will open up, over and over, in total honesty to Him about your anger, depression and fear, He is the one who can offer you hope of one day starting to enjoy life again.
And giving you hope is one thing that I do feel comfortable offering to you this Christmas.