Chimus Transportation: It ain't me, Babe (or G-Men)

By Rory Ryan
The Highland County Press

In 1986, U.S. President Ronald Reagan said, “The nine most terrifying words in the English language are ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.’”

Truer words were never spoken. Thirty-eight years later, they're still accurate.

Off and on for the last few years, I have received mail addressed to something called Chimus Transportation, Inc. I do not know anything about Chimus Transportation, Inc., but I do know they, him, her, or it does not operate at my residence. 

In today's USPS mail, I received another letter addressed to Chimus Transportation, Inc. at my home address. Seeing that it was from the U.S. Department of Commerce's U.S. Census Bureau, I thought it may be related to my own business – which is NOT Chimus Transportation, Inc. – and I opened the one-page letter. 

This was for a U.S. Census Bureau Business Trends and Outlook Survey, with a request to reply within five days, and a further statement that there will be three more report requests through mid-2025.

For the record, and as I have repeatedly told our local post office in Seaman, Ohio, there is not now nor ever has been a Chimus Transportation, Inc. business operating at my address. I have lived here for more than three decades, and prior to that, my property was all native woodlands for decades. I personally cleared the land where our house rests. (I was young once.)

Simply put: There is no Chimus Transportation, Inc. operating at my address. If I had any means to contact anyone at Chimus Transportation, I would do so. I can't find Chimus Transportation, Inc. with a road map, a search warrant and two weeks' head start. The only reason I have ever heard of Chimus Transportation, Inc. is because someone – or something – is using my address as the address for Chimus Transportation, Inc. 

(And, yes, I am hopeful that by repeating "Chimus Transportation, Inc." often enough, perhaps someone at Chimus Transportation, Inc. will come across this in a search engine and set their records straight.)

It's nothing personal. Chimus Transportation, Inc. might be a great transportation company. I do not know. But I do know there aren't any semis or buses parked in my driveway. 

After emailing the aforementioned information to the Census Bureau at econ.btos@census.gov, I received this reply: "Thank you for contacting the U.S. Census Bureau about the Business Trends and Outlook Survey (BTOS). In order to address your concerns, please provide us with the login ID located in the email or letter you received."

So, I sent the login ID as requested. Thus far, I haven't received a reply.

President Reagan was correct – as he most often was – in 1986. Two years after his now-famous statement, “The nine most terrifying words in the English language are ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help,'” my address was listed at my local post office, county recorder, county auditor, etc. Chimus Transportation, Inc. was not. They've not helped with my ever-increasing property taxes, either.

I'm sure the millions of good folks working for the federal government will soon get to the bottom of this. Who knows? Maybe Chimus Transportation, Inc. will take the high road and resolve its address issue(s).

Rory Ryan is publisher and owner of The Highland County Press, Highland County's only locally owned and operated newspaper.