Our automatic, hands-free world
By Dr. Andy and Renie Bowman
Coffeetimecolumn.com
andybowman839@gmail.com
Many things like our car washes, ATMs, and grocery stores now boast that they have contactless accessibility.
“NO TOUCHING, KEEP TO YOUR YOURSELF SO YOU WON’T RISK BEING CONTAMINATED OR INVOLVED.”
And that concept works for keeping yourself germ-free in this scary disease-ridden world.
But not so effective in rearing kids. We are now seeing the effects of living as touch-me-nots, where impressionable kids have too many of their relationships through texting, social media, and phone calls.
Instead of eye-to-eye conversations, hugs, and hands-on discipline. I believe this type of hands-off emotionally distant parenting has resulted in a generation of kids living in loneliness, despair, and depression.
Sure, you may not hear a child specifically verbalize that is how they feel. But watch. Listen between the lines. If you take the time, I think you will realize that our current remote style of relating is taking its toll.
Too many of America’s families are suffering from the lack of home-time and intimacy. Being gathered around the dining room table eating together, talking, listening, and even the inevitable arguing among siblings is a vital part of learning how to function in life, how to relate to others.
And having to share a bedroom, “Oh, God forbid!” with a sibling is not a bad curse on a child. On the contrary, a kid learns to share, to compromise, to lay in their bed and listen to another’s hurts and successes. And learn that the feelings and opinions of others really do matter.
Pretty successful training for a budding adult.
Isolationism is taking a tragic toll on our country’s society. Remember, as the kids go, so goes a nation. After all, the way you are raised as a child plays a part in how you function as an adult.
If you are emotionally isolated in childhood, there is a good chance those young years will influence how you function in your grownup years.
As a result, many neighborhoods are segregating into many small microcosms, where only very few make a concentrated effort to care for more than those within their small circle. Gone are the days when neighbors deliberately became friends, or at least made that effort.
Therefore, trust and closeness in our neighborhoods, where we each care about the welfare of others on our street, is just about down the drain.
How do we begin to turn this around?
In your own home, first of all.
Secondly, start with a neighbor. Be it the little widow lady who lives on the corner, or the huge family next door. Reach out in warmth, friendliness and kindness. Go out of your way to introduce yourself.
Retrieve their empty trash can for them after trash pickup day – it won’t kill you. Offer to help them with a chore, and don’t take it personally when they shy away at first offer. After all, nowadays, neighbors aren’t really trusted at first.
Just begin. Our country’s worth it.