Laughter really is good medicine

The daughter of the best newspaperman I've ever known recently emailed a supposed artificial-intelligence-generated obituary. (Thanks, Amalia, from Paducah.)

In light of the Screen Actors Guild ongoing "labor" issues in Hollywood and the writers' opposition to AI (which, according to the U.S. VP's latest word salad, are really just two letters – A and I, respectively), perhaps it is worth sharing this obit. 

It reads as follows:

Brenda retired from living at the age of old, surrounded by family and natural causes. A librarian from birth, she was an avid collector of dust. She had a sweet heart and married her high school. She loved hobbies and helping her sons to be disadvantaged youths. She had no horses, but thought she did. The church gave her a choir because she sang like a bird, looked like a bird and was a bird. She owed us so many poems. In lieu of flowers, send her more life.

As funny as that is, consider the Hollywood actors/writers strike. 

These leftists are condemning the leftists that feed them. Disney CEO Bob Iger (who gave Biden half a million dollars in 2020) condemned the strike action as “very disruptive” at the “worst time,” as well as calling the expectations of writers and actors “just not realistic.”

I thought these liberals all sang in the same choir on every issue, but I guess Goofy is tired of giving Mickey all the punch lines. Or something like that. 

Fran Drescher as the union president is almost as funny as the U.S. VP explaining that A and I "are just two letters."

This brings us to Turd Ferguson and "Jeopardy," as presented on "Saturday Night Live."

At some point, the general population of U.S. voters ought to realize that Turd Ferguson is somewhere in the Oval Office, perhaps running the show. Perhaps not. But his presence is obvious.

We have a president who seems to enjoy sniffing the hair and gobbling the necks of very young girls, while claiming that Russia is at war with Iraq. (More than once on both counts.)

Russia is at war with Ukraine – in case anyone forgot.

T-Ferg, er Joe, also recently said that "We have plans to build a railroad from the Pacific all the way across the Indian Ocean,” during an address before the League of Conservation Voters. There is no such plan. 

But what a grand plan it would be, grander even than Flagler's Folly – Henry Flagler's "Eighth Wonder of the World," a railroad from Miami to Key West. It's gone now, of course, gone with the wind from one of the most powerful hurricanes to ever strike the United States. In 1935, the famous "Labor Day" storm swept across the Florida Keys with 200 mph winds, killed hundreds and demolished Flagler's railroad.

Then there was Joe's June 19, 2023 announcement in which he promised to conserve 30 percent of U.S. lands and water by 2020. Hmm, 2020 was three years ago, Joe.

“I’ve committed to – by 2020, we will have conserved 30 percent of all the lands and waters the United States has jurisdiction over and simultaneously reduce emissions to blunt climate impact,” Sleepy Joe said.

After a June 16 speech at the University of Hartford in Connecticut, Biden signed off by saying, “God save the Queen, man.”

At last check, Queen Elizabeth II is still dead.

All this and the most secure residence in the world cannot solve a little cocaine mystery while the boss is out of town.

Cue the Eric Clapton music.

If your day is gone, and you want to ride on, cocaine;
Don't forget this fact, you can't get it back, cocaine;
She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie;
Cocaine. – J.J. Cale

Yes, laughter is the best medicine. While this column may lack depth (what do you want for nothing, a rubber biscuit?), I'll close with this: Here's to four more years for Turd Ferguson; we all need the jocularity. Thanks, Joe, and the Cackler. Good health to the POTUS.

And keep the laughter coming. As Reader's Digest used to say, it is the best medicine.

Rory Ryan is publisher and owner of The Highland County Press, Highland County's only locally owned and operated newspaper.