They have questions, I have answers
By
Stephen Forsha-sforsha@gmail.com
There are a lot of questions that need answered in sports today, and I'm here to help.
With the NFL lockout looking like it's over and all types of football on the way, baseball headed toward the Dog Days and a variety of other sport seasons taking shape, here are some questions I felt needed to be asked and answered.
Feel free to email any questions to sforsha@gmail.com. If I get enough, I’ll answer them in a column. Email away.
Dear Stephen,
Should my team change our uniforms from orange with black stripes to white with black stripes or just plain orange?
— Confused in Cincinnati
Dear Confused,
Once the lockout officially ends, I would cut all the players who ended up behind bars but would still swap the uniform color to white with black stripes ... you know, just in case.
Dear Stephen,
What's with all of these sweater vests in my new office? It must be 110 degrees on campus and I've got a closet full of vests .What should I do?
— In A Pickle in Columbus
Dear Pickle,
Whatever you do please do not trade the sweater vests for tattoos or cars. Secondly, maybe you could donate them to the Coach Tressel Look-a-like contest that will be taking place the first week of the high school football season.
Dear Stephen,
I'm a Renaissance man. I like to teach and learn new things. I love baseball, but why does everyone dislike me and my gold-rimmed glasses?
— Hurt feelings in the Queen City
Dear Feelings,
It's all about consistency. Fans will consistently turn the cold shoulder on you until they see some consistency on the field of play.
Dear Stephen,
This year, I don’t want to be a lead-off hitter, I strike out a lot and I can’t bunt. Can you help me out? What should I do?
— Texas proud in Ohio
Dear Tex,
A way to fix your problems ... patience at the plate. Stop impersonating the Dunner and play baseball like you enjoy it. Oh, and it is OK to not swing at a bad pitch ... actually, it’s preferred.
Dear Stephen,
Have you seen my cell phone?
— Bored in Mississippi
Dear Bored,
Maybe it was left in New York?
Dear Stephen,
Who had better luck in court, me or the mom in Orlando?
— They call me Rocket
Dear Rocket,
Both of you benefited from the justice system, but neither of you have a reputation worth a penny in the real world. Good luck getting into the Hall of Fame.
Dear Stephen,
I’m a super-duper agent for a former college player waiting to be selected in the NFL Supplemental Draft once the lockout is officially over. I want to know where you think he’ll be selected?
— Slimeball in a suit
Dear Slimer,
Fifth round ... next question.
Dear Stephen,
Though we share a similar first name, I do have a question ... Why did I get fired from being Eldrick’s caddie after 12 years?
— A caddie with no clubs
Dear Caddie,
Maybe he was cheating on you too?
Dear Stephen,
Will Big East football get the respect it deserves in the BCS ranks in 2011?
— Bearcat fan for life
Dear Bearcat,
Nobody in the Big East deserves to be associated with the BCS. So to answer your question, I will have to say yes.
Dear Stephen,
I’ve been stuck in Kentucky Speedway traffic for almost three weeks now. Who won the race?
— Going to Bristol next year
Dear Bristol,
Kyle Busch.
Dear Stephen,
Why is the Big Ten called the Big Ten when there are 12 teams?
— The Count, S. Street
Dear Count,
Well, there is no logical reason, but again, you have to realize this is coming from a conference that named its divisions “Leaders and Legends.”
Dear Stephen,
Why do I choke all the time?
— The Prince of Miami
Dear Miami,
Probably because you don’t take your time. It’s called focus. Look up MJ, Larry Legend and Magic for more details.
Dear Stephen,
Who is the better athlete: Rory Ryan or Brandy Chandler?
— Southside Johnny, South Hillsboro
Dear Southside,
One has the height advantage and the other is a grizzled veteran. The only way I see this being answered is on the basketball court.
Dear Stephen,
Will the Reds be sellers or buyers as the free agency deadline comes to a close?
— Prospect in Louisville
Dear Prospect,
If you play in the infield or outfield, you might want to keep your bags packed.
Stephen Forsha is the sports editor of The Highland County Press.[[In-content Ad]]
With the NFL lockout looking like it's over and all types of football on the way, baseball headed toward the Dog Days and a variety of other sport seasons taking shape, here are some questions I felt needed to be asked and answered.
Feel free to email any questions to sforsha@gmail.com. If I get enough, I’ll answer them in a column. Email away.
Dear Stephen,
Should my team change our uniforms from orange with black stripes to white with black stripes or just plain orange?
— Confused in Cincinnati
Dear Confused,
Once the lockout officially ends, I would cut all the players who ended up behind bars but would still swap the uniform color to white with black stripes ... you know, just in case.
Dear Stephen,
What's with all of these sweater vests in my new office? It must be 110 degrees on campus and I've got a closet full of vests .What should I do?
— In A Pickle in Columbus
Dear Pickle,
Whatever you do please do not trade the sweater vests for tattoos or cars. Secondly, maybe you could donate them to the Coach Tressel Look-a-like contest that will be taking place the first week of the high school football season.
Dear Stephen,
I'm a Renaissance man. I like to teach and learn new things. I love baseball, but why does everyone dislike me and my gold-rimmed glasses?
— Hurt feelings in the Queen City
Dear Feelings,
It's all about consistency. Fans will consistently turn the cold shoulder on you until they see some consistency on the field of play.
Dear Stephen,
This year, I don’t want to be a lead-off hitter, I strike out a lot and I can’t bunt. Can you help me out? What should I do?
— Texas proud in Ohio
Dear Tex,
A way to fix your problems ... patience at the plate. Stop impersonating the Dunner and play baseball like you enjoy it. Oh, and it is OK to not swing at a bad pitch ... actually, it’s preferred.
Dear Stephen,
Have you seen my cell phone?
— Bored in Mississippi
Dear Bored,
Maybe it was left in New York?
Dear Stephen,
Who had better luck in court, me or the mom in Orlando?
— They call me Rocket
Dear Rocket,
Both of you benefited from the justice system, but neither of you have a reputation worth a penny in the real world. Good luck getting into the Hall of Fame.
Dear Stephen,
I’m a super-duper agent for a former college player waiting to be selected in the NFL Supplemental Draft once the lockout is officially over. I want to know where you think he’ll be selected?
— Slimeball in a suit
Dear Slimer,
Fifth round ... next question.
Dear Stephen,
Though we share a similar first name, I do have a question ... Why did I get fired from being Eldrick’s caddie after 12 years?
— A caddie with no clubs
Dear Caddie,
Maybe he was cheating on you too?
Dear Stephen,
Will Big East football get the respect it deserves in the BCS ranks in 2011?
— Bearcat fan for life
Dear Bearcat,
Nobody in the Big East deserves to be associated with the BCS. So to answer your question, I will have to say yes.
Dear Stephen,
I’ve been stuck in Kentucky Speedway traffic for almost three weeks now. Who won the race?
— Going to Bristol next year
Dear Bristol,
Kyle Busch.
Dear Stephen,
Why is the Big Ten called the Big Ten when there are 12 teams?
— The Count, S. Street
Dear Count,
Well, there is no logical reason, but again, you have to realize this is coming from a conference that named its divisions “Leaders and Legends.”
Dear Stephen,
Why do I choke all the time?
— The Prince of Miami
Dear Miami,
Probably because you don’t take your time. It’s called focus. Look up MJ, Larry Legend and Magic for more details.
Dear Stephen,
Who is the better athlete: Rory Ryan or Brandy Chandler?
— Southside Johnny, South Hillsboro
Dear Southside,
One has the height advantage and the other is a grizzled veteran. The only way I see this being answered is on the basketball court.
Dear Stephen,
Will the Reds be sellers or buyers as the free agency deadline comes to a close?
— Prospect in Louisville
Dear Prospect,
If you play in the infield or outfield, you might want to keep your bags packed.
Stephen Forsha is the sports editor of The Highland County Press.[[In-content Ad]]