Honoring the honor of honoring embattled football coaches
By
Stephen Forsha-sforsha@gmail.com
The Ohio High School Football Coaches Association is proposing all of its coaches in the state give a hearty and heartfelt tribute to Jim Tressel during Week 1 by dressing like Paul Brown, Vince Lombardi and other great coaches of the past.
I don't like the idea of honoring Tressel, but I'm not going to begrudge them how wrong I think the proposal is.
If it makes sense to honor an embattled football coach, then by all means, I hope all the coaches who choose to do so look sharp in a white shirt and tie on the sideline during Week 1. Why not add a sweater vest while they are at it to complete the ensemble? Don't forget the American flag pin at the top of the vest since that's the only thing he wears that is worth wearing to begin with.
I have nothing against Tressel … he's probably a nice guy who made a few bad choices along with a lot of good ones … so what? All coaches make good and bad decisions, but he just outright lied to everyone.
One thing that bothers me about him is he tells people to act and live one way, but he acts and lives another. I know I'm not perfect. I have a short temper sometimes, I sometimes use language that my mom and girlfriend disapprove of, I drink too much caffeine and stay up way too late, but I don't tell people how to live their life because in all honesty … as long as it doesn't cause myself or my friends or family harm, people should live however they want. I don't need a "Winner's Manual" telling me how to be.
What made this news somewhat ironic was that I received it via email, which we all know is pretty much how the "Sweater Vest" got into trouble to begin with.
The email stated: "The recommendation proposes that all head coaches across the state wear a white shirt and tie the first game this season to thank Tressel for all he did to help (the OHSFCA) and high school football while he was the head coach at Ohio State. The decision to participate in the recommendation will be left up to each individual coach."
For old times' sake, I forwarded the email from the HCP email to my own because we all know forwarding emails can be the best (or worst) decision.
I want to have some fun, so in honor of honoring embattled coaches everywhere, here are 10 ways coaches can keep the honor of honoring embattled coaches each week of the season.
Week 1: That's already taken with the Jim Tressel lookalike contest. He's done many good things in his time as the OSU coach. He's done some bad things as OSU coach. Maybe the OHSFCA can have all the coaches who take part in this email a photo and see who has the best resemblance.
Week 2: Let's stay with the Tressel theme for one more week, and let's have coaches do this. Coaches who have a comfortable lead in the first half can just stop doing whatever game plan was working and let off the gas, so to speak. Then, just to make the game interesting, the opponent will claw their way back before two fourth-quarter touchdowns by the leading team will put the game out of reach for the opponent who gave their all.
Week 3: Let's go out West and do the supposed Chip Kelly. In preparing for the third game of the season, coaches should hire a "scouting service" to maybe talk some players into choosing their school for the following season, say, if they have open enrollment. We know this could already happen with "private" schools (there is no way most of the top football talent just happens to attend private schools).
Week 4: This week, in preparation for games, coaches should practice their players longer than mandated and break the rules just like former Michigan football coach Rich "I say I won't leave West Virginia but left the very next day during BCS bowl but not BCS National Championship game preparation because my Mountaineers lost to Dave Wannstedt and the Pittsburgh Panthers with a national title invitation on the line" Rodriguez.
Week 5: I'm staying in wild and wonderful West Virginia, and coaches this week can pull a Bill Stewart. What is a Bill Stewart? Coaches can try to hire a media person to dig up dirt on the coach hired to take their spot. Maybe high school coaches can all wear those glasses with eyeballs in them on the back of their heads.
Week 6: The Brian Kelly tribute can be a lot like the Rich Rod one where coaches can leave before the season is completed, but instead just leaving the team (not even giving a two weeks' notice) and not taking the blame for anything that happens during a practice.
Week 7: This week can be a Mike Price (former Alabama coach) tribute. To succeed at this one, I'll accept coaches just spending money for "personal use" and putting it on the tab of the school.
Week 8: A tribute to Pete Carroll ... When a coach sees troubles a-brewin' ... run in the opposite direction and run fast.
Week 9: Let's go to the pro ranks and have a tribute to one of my favorite football coaches … Mr. Bill Belichick. Coaches will need the following … a hoodie with half the sleeves cut off, a pencil in the ear and a video camera.
Week 10: If coaches aren't happy the way the season turned out, they can just leave a note to the players following the game on a table with bags already packed. This is called the Bobby Petrino.
Stephen Forsha is the sports editor of The Highland County Press. He can be reached at sforsha@gmail.com.
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I don't like the idea of honoring Tressel, but I'm not going to begrudge them how wrong I think the proposal is.
If it makes sense to honor an embattled football coach, then by all means, I hope all the coaches who choose to do so look sharp in a white shirt and tie on the sideline during Week 1. Why not add a sweater vest while they are at it to complete the ensemble? Don't forget the American flag pin at the top of the vest since that's the only thing he wears that is worth wearing to begin with.
I have nothing against Tressel … he's probably a nice guy who made a few bad choices along with a lot of good ones … so what? All coaches make good and bad decisions, but he just outright lied to everyone.
One thing that bothers me about him is he tells people to act and live one way, but he acts and lives another. I know I'm not perfect. I have a short temper sometimes, I sometimes use language that my mom and girlfriend disapprove of, I drink too much caffeine and stay up way too late, but I don't tell people how to live their life because in all honesty … as long as it doesn't cause myself or my friends or family harm, people should live however they want. I don't need a "Winner's Manual" telling me how to be.
What made this news somewhat ironic was that I received it via email, which we all know is pretty much how the "Sweater Vest" got into trouble to begin with.
The email stated: "The recommendation proposes that all head coaches across the state wear a white shirt and tie the first game this season to thank Tressel for all he did to help (the OHSFCA) and high school football while he was the head coach at Ohio State. The decision to participate in the recommendation will be left up to each individual coach."
For old times' sake, I forwarded the email from the HCP email to my own because we all know forwarding emails can be the best (or worst) decision.
I want to have some fun, so in honor of honoring embattled coaches everywhere, here are 10 ways coaches can keep the honor of honoring embattled coaches each week of the season.
Week 1: That's already taken with the Jim Tressel lookalike contest. He's done many good things in his time as the OSU coach. He's done some bad things as OSU coach. Maybe the OHSFCA can have all the coaches who take part in this email a photo and see who has the best resemblance.
Week 2: Let's stay with the Tressel theme for one more week, and let's have coaches do this. Coaches who have a comfortable lead in the first half can just stop doing whatever game plan was working and let off the gas, so to speak. Then, just to make the game interesting, the opponent will claw their way back before two fourth-quarter touchdowns by the leading team will put the game out of reach for the opponent who gave their all.
Week 3: Let's go out West and do the supposed Chip Kelly. In preparing for the third game of the season, coaches should hire a "scouting service" to maybe talk some players into choosing their school for the following season, say, if they have open enrollment. We know this could already happen with "private" schools (there is no way most of the top football talent just happens to attend private schools).
Week 4: This week, in preparation for games, coaches should practice their players longer than mandated and break the rules just like former Michigan football coach Rich "I say I won't leave West Virginia but left the very next day during BCS bowl but not BCS National Championship game preparation because my Mountaineers lost to Dave Wannstedt and the Pittsburgh Panthers with a national title invitation on the line" Rodriguez.
Week 5: I'm staying in wild and wonderful West Virginia, and coaches this week can pull a Bill Stewart. What is a Bill Stewart? Coaches can try to hire a media person to dig up dirt on the coach hired to take their spot. Maybe high school coaches can all wear those glasses with eyeballs in them on the back of their heads.
Week 6: The Brian Kelly tribute can be a lot like the Rich Rod one where coaches can leave before the season is completed, but instead just leaving the team (not even giving a two weeks' notice) and not taking the blame for anything that happens during a practice.
Week 7: This week can be a Mike Price (former Alabama coach) tribute. To succeed at this one, I'll accept coaches just spending money for "personal use" and putting it on the tab of the school.
Week 8: A tribute to Pete Carroll ... When a coach sees troubles a-brewin' ... run in the opposite direction and run fast.
Week 9: Let's go to the pro ranks and have a tribute to one of my favorite football coaches … Mr. Bill Belichick. Coaches will need the following … a hoodie with half the sleeves cut off, a pencil in the ear and a video camera.
Week 10: If coaches aren't happy the way the season turned out, they can just leave a note to the players following the game on a table with bags already packed. This is called the Bobby Petrino.
Stephen Forsha is the sports editor of The Highland County Press. He can be reached at sforsha@gmail.com.
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