Vacation and its consequences

Well, "The Streak" remains intact.

It absolutely never fails. I slip away for a few days of R&R for RR and all Hades breaks loose. In August 2005, it was Hurricane Katrina. Three years ago, it was a devastating tsunami in Japan. Another year it was a major earthquake in Haiti. This year, I go undercover for four days at Daytona Beach and the Russians invade Ukraine (again).

To invoke the words of P.J. O'Rourke: "May bad news follow you around."

It does seem to.

On the plus side, it's not all bad all the time.

Pam, Colin and I (missing Caitlin and Meghan) arrived in Florida with the Friday, Feb. 28 sunrise and were walking Daytona Beach a few hours later.

We've done these late-winter trips many times and we have our own routine. Check in to our rented condo, unload the van, and find the sunshine. After 14 hours of interstate driving, a long walk on the beach was in order.

At the Daytona Beach pier, there are markers that describe some of the famous events in the history of "The World's Most Famous Beach."

One such marker caught my eye. It referenced the early days of NASCAR's Daytona 500.

In the 1950s, there was a Daytona 100. Drivers mentioned at the current marker include: Fireball Roberts, Speedy Thompson, Cotton Owens and Banjo Matthews.

My initial thought after reading about the early days of auto racing in Daytona – where cars raced on the road and on the beach – was this: Fireball, Speedy, Cotton and Banjo are really cool nicknames for stock car racers.

The 1955 Daytona race was won by Fireball Roberts. But ol' Fireball was later disqualified, so the official win went to Tim Flock, who apparently did not have a cool nickname.

Fireball was disqualified after NASCAR found that he had pushrods that were 0.016 inches too long. That reminds me: "Pushrod" also is a cool nickname for a race car driver.

I also read that in 1958, the Daytona Beach road course had its last event and the first Daytona 500 was held in 1959.

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The IHOP moment

• After an early Friday dinner that would be the envy of many "early birders" in the Sunshine State, this guy retired early. (And that's the most times I've used "early" in any sentence that did not include Rick Earley.)

Our Saturday morning breakfast was a scheduled walk across AIA Highway to the International House of Pancakes. We were set to meet with friends Bob and Dorothy Hodson at 8:30 a.m.

I walked over to the IHOP at 7 a.m. There was a reason.

A lot of newspaper people I've known tend to buy other newspapers when they travel. They buy these papers and bring them home with thoughts of steal….er, borrowing a few ideas in a business well known for its thievery.

As always, I swim against the current. Instead of buying papers at fuel stops in West Virginia, Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia and Florida, I leave papers.

On March 1, about 90 minutes before our breakfast date with Bob and Dorothy, I delivered 20 copies of The Highland County Press to the Ormond Beach IHOP.

I'll readily admit that this was somewhat of a practical joke. My hope was that they would notice other restaurant patrons reading the HCP while having their eggs and coffee in Florida. My timing was almost off, though.

By the time we arrived at 8:30 a.m., only a few copies of Highland County's only locally owned newspaper were left. Fortunately, no less than six customers were still reading the HCP when the five of us sat down for breakfast.

A gentleman seated directly behind us had Pages 2 and 3 open so everyone could see the Page 1 banner. To my left, a booth of four had the March 1 edition of the HCP pulled apart. They were sharing pages and commenting about the real estate ads and home prices in Highland County. (Maybe one of them actually read this column, but I doubt it.)

After a few minutes had passed, Bob couldn't resist it.

He walked over and met with the family. Turns out, they are from Minnesota. So, if any local Realtors receive a call or two from the Gopher State related to local listings, there is a reason. The March 1 HCP circulation was extended by several hundred miles.

The IHOP moment is something we'll be talking about for a long time. We're already planning to meet Bob and Dorothy there once again next year. I hope we have the same waitress. Petrina was wonderful.

* * *

'But I sent the email to Hillsboro'

• "I do not understand...I sent an e-mail to Hillsboro, but you are in Daytona?" Teresa Farrow asked.

Yes, I do mix in a little bit of work while on vacation. With the Internet and my MacBook, I can write stories, sell an ad or two, respond to readers' emails and update our website from virtually anywhere.

While on a brief respite, I received this from Teresa: "Would you please tell me how to obtain obituaries from 1995 and 1996? I am looking for Mary Harris, who died Aug. 11, 1995 and Elwood Harris, who died May 17, 1996."

As I told Teresa, Elwood Harris signed my original membership card to the Hillsboro Eagles Lodge in 1979. He was the secretary and accountant for the aerie. Mary and Elwood were really close to my dad.

Her email also reminded me of the time the four of us traveled to a Veterans Hospital one day to visit another friend who had terminal cancer.

I never laughed so much at my dad and Elwood when we stopped at an Arby's restaurant in Chillicothe. As I recall, Dad and Elwood were amazed at such fast food. That would have been in 1981 or '82. Mary looked at me and said "They don't get out much, do they?" She and I just smiled at the two of them, as the sandwiches arrived in seconds after we ordered.

I was around 20 or so and just laughed. That was 30 years ago.

I hadn't thought of Mary and Elwood in a long time, I told Teresa, but "I am sitting in Daytona, Florida and smiling at these memories."

The next day, Teresa emailed a few photos of Mary, including one from of all places – Daytona Beach. Amazing. Thank you, Teresa. Mary and Elwood loved to laugh. And you brought a smile to my face this week.

* * *

Mad Monkey Graphics

• There is a graphics design business on AIA Highway in Ormond Beach called Mad Monkey Graphics.

That is not the least bit significant to you. But it is to me. The Highland County Press has a well-known mascot in Sasquatch, courtesy of Lisa Wharton and Brad's Garden Center. But we also have had a Monkey King, courtesy of a warped sense of humor aimed at corporate America some seven or eight years ago.

The Monkey King, basically, was our way of telling a few people to go suck on a banana.

Since then, some readers have added to the aura of the Monkey King. (They know who they are, but must remain nameless.)

Mad Monkey Graphics is a real business. Had I thought of it back in the days before corporate media eliminated such crucial positions at the local level, I would have called our staff Mad Monkey Graphics. As it is, I'll be happy to report that The Highland County Press does not and will not outsource its graphics design work for our customers.

* * *

More comedy in Hillsboro (It never ends)

• Lastly, my final vacation email came from a friend who offered a measure of criticism because I had not offered an opinion on the latest meeting of that once august body known as the Hillsboro City Council.

As usual, I was the last man in town to know what was going on. (At this stage of my life, I tend to like it that way.)

This email included a statement that the city council had taken some sort of action in order to avoid potential litigation and a proposed ballot movement and to supposedly save taxpayers' dollars on said litigation and possible vote of the public.

Or something like that. (I've been on vacation, so please, allow a degree of latitude on the city's ongoing lunacy.)

The gist of it boils down to this: City Council apparently fears a citizen/taxpayer lawsuit that might force a vote on keeping a city fire department.

City council apparently decided an emergency vote was necessary in order to "protect" the interests of the citizens and taxpayers who agree with them.

For those citizens and taxpayers who disagree, well, that's tough.

One member of a group who supports a ballot initiative to determine the fate of the Hillsboro Fire Department asked council: "If this was an emergency, why did you wait so long before taking action?"

Good question.

There are many other questions that city council ought to answer. But they won't.

For starters, city council ought to explain to city residents and taxpayers why they feel this litigation is "frivolous," how much it will cost taxpayers to put something on the general election ballot and how that compares with tax dollars spent on outside legal expenses.

Here's a clue: Placing the matter before the voters is much, much cheaper than what taxpayers are paying the attorneys. Believe it.

City council also ought to answer this question: If most of the city residents support you, why are you so afraid of putting the fire and EMS issue on the ballot? Surely, that will cost much, much less than what taxpayers are now paying for outside legal services.

Again, why are you running scared? If, as the city insists, the majority is in your corner, let's put the matter to rest once and for all.

Let the voters decide.

Unless you're afraid. (And, obviously, you are.)

In that case, we all understand. What works in Washington works in Hillsboro. Now, you'll excuse me while I finish my Henry Hyde reading.

To the committee's credit, Tom Stephens told The Highland County Press this week: "I think whatever the lawyer says we should go along with."

That's a lot more professional than city council's actions.

Rory Ryan is publisher and owner of The Highland County Press.