Thanks, ODOT: Fizzleville is lovely this time of year
Lead Summary
By
Rory Ryan-hcpress@cinci.rr.com
Fizzleville, Ohio and Neave, Kentucky might be sister cities. If they’re not, perhaps this will serve as a catalyst to make it happen.
For the record, I’ve never been lost in my life. However, after today’s scenic route to Maysville, Ky., I have been rather disoriented on two separate occasions – to both of which I give all due credit to the Ohio Department of Transportation and the Kentucky Department of Transportation.
For background, almost 20 years ago on returning from a South Carolina vacation, I decided to take U.S. 62 and/or 68 from around Paris, Ky., to Ohio. It was a very rainy spring that year, and we had a few detours, one of which led to the crest of a hill beneath which was a lake across the highway and fence lines on either side. There was no signage that this route was under water.
It was on this trip that I made my first – and last – trip through Neave, Ky.
Longtime Adams County attorney Roy Gabbert challenged me over the existence of Neave – until he finally drove there himself and posed for a photo by the village limit sign – which was in a tree. Neave never knew its notoriety in newspaperdom.
After a day’s work, I left The Highland County Press this afternoon to pick up the July Real Estate Monthly edition at the Maysville Ledger Independent.
Everything was right on schedule, so I asked my wife, Pam, if she wanted to ride along. She did. Which turned out to be a good thing (even if I still hate cell phones.)
From home, through Seaman, Youngsville, Cherry Fork, the Panhandle and Bentonville, the drive was fine. I even slowed to let two fat ducks waddle across S.R. 137 – where the horses used to take cover on the porch to get out of the rain – west of Youngsville. We waved at the Mennonites nearby and kept on moving.
After an uneventful southward turn in downtown Cherry Fork, we were headed for Bentonville – famous worldwide for its Anti-Horse Thief Society (see http://www.ohiohistorycentral.org/w/Bentonville_Anti-Horse_Thief_Society).
It was in this Ohio Historical Marker village where the trip basically fell apart.
Unless Bentonville has formed a recent Anti-ODOT Sign Thief Society that I don’t know about, I am blaming ODOT for the rest of this ordeal.
After passing through almost all of Bentonville on S.R. 41, I turned left on S.R. 136 near the old school. On the way to Manchester (proud home of Jack Roush and Joe Himes, by the way), we approached a considerable line of traffic backed up in the southbound lane – and no cars approaching in the northbound lane.
With no traffic moving – AND NO ODOT SIGNAGE ALONG ROUTE 136 at BENTONVILLE – I turned around and decided to get to Maysville via S.R. 41 to Aberdeen. Big mistake.
Pam and I joked about turning left at the edge of Bentonville and going by the Hilltop Golf Course and coming out at the old high school track and ball field in Manchester. Wish we’d done that. But then again, I said something along the lines of, “That’s a pretty winding route, as I recall from playing golf there with Jamie Burton many years back.”
Thus, we headed for Aberdeen.
For emphasis, the following point cannot be overstated: THERE WAS NO ODOT SIGNAGE ON S.R. 41 AT BENTONVILLE INDICATING THE ROAD WAS CLOSED BEFORE ONE COULD REACH ABERDEEN – MY ABERDEEN – PRETTIEST TOWN I’VE NEVER SEEN. MY ABERDEEN. My … never mind.
To be totally upfront, just at the edge of Bentonville, there was one ODOT sign for traffic headed toward Aberdeen. Its two words read: “END CONSTRUCTION.”
Just about the time we were closing in on Aberdeen, then on to Maysville for an estimated time of arrival around 5 p.m., we saw the first helpful ODOT signage of the trip: “ROAD CLOSED.”
The ODOT (OD-IDIOT) detour pointed us to the right on S.R. 763. We followed S.R. 763 for several miles – heading NORTH.
Unlike me, Pam does have a cell phone. She also had no cell service. After a few miles, I saw a very pleasant-looking lady with two dogs (one large, one small, both growling and barking) sitting on her front porch (I assume it was her porch). I backed up the hill to the house so Pam could ask for directions from the passenger side. I haven’t asked for directions yet, so why start today?
The very pleasant-looking lady with two dogs (one large, one small, both growling and barking) sitting on her front porch (I’m sure it was hers), advised that we could turn back toward Aberdeen and take the last road on the right (Stringtown Road) and take that to Flaugher Hill Road and make a hard left.
The trouble with that, I incorrectly thought, was that when we passed Stringtown Road, I saw an old sign that read “Impassable.”
So I asked Pam to ask the very pleasant-looking lady with two dogs (one large, one small, both growling and barking) sitting on her front porch about taking East Fork Road to U.S. 52 – an Ohio Scenic Byway, but at this point, I really didn’t give a good fizzlestick.
Pam said the very pleasant-looking lady with two dogs (one large, one small, both growling and barking) sitting on her front porch said that would take us to Ripley. It was that or going back to Bentonville or West Union and possibly reaching Maysville by way of Wrightsville.
So off we went to Ripley. A few miles later East Fork Road ended at S.R. 763. ODOT had GREAT SIGNS at the intersection: The one to the left read: “763 North,” and the one to the south read: you guessed it “763 South.”
Being that we were in Ohio and wanting to get to Kentucky, I turned south.
After a mile or so, we came upon a Dodge Caravan driving slow and looking lost. Then a green SUV joined our parade of the damned. A minute or two later, we waved as we passed the very pleasant-looking lady with two dogs (one large, one small, both growling and barking), who was still sitting on her front porch. I thought about stopping for a glass of lemonade.
At this point, Pam still had no cell service (just an occasional banjo note or five), but she did point out that all of us in the parade seemed lost. I prefer “disoriented.”
Just as we approached Stringtown Road for the second time, Pam’s GPS came alive. Apparently, so, too, did the driver’s GPS in the Dodge. The Caravan turned right – past the “Impassable” sign that also had a small image of a 1950s Mack truck with a slash through it. We followed, as did the lime green SUV.
Route 763 took us through the bucolic hamlet of Fizzleville. (It’s always good to give the nice folks of Fizzleville – and Neave – a shout-out.) Fizzleville is home to the Huntington Hotshots 4-H Club.
At the Stringtown Road and Flaugher Hill Road intersection, things could have ended very badly – so badly that you would not be wasting your time reading this gem.
When we reached Flaugher Hill Road, the Dodge broke up our happy caravan by pulling out in front of a cement-mixer truck that came barreling downhill and headed straight through a “road closed” sign to my right (west, I’m pretty sure). With the green SUV right behind me, I was all set to follow the Caravan (we happy few, we band of brothers), when Pam yelled to stop and make a hard left. That’s when I saw the truck for the first time.
In order to see oncoming traffic from the left at that intersection, one must have the ability to turn about 270 degrees. I’m sure the good folks of Fizzleville can tell you all about it.
After the caravan broke up (the green SUV followed us), we soon saw the new Aberdeen bridge and headed east to the old bridge beneath which were The Highland County Press July 2019 Real Estate Monthly copies.
I’m happy to report that our return trip was much less eventful.
To the great folks at ODOT, who I praised each and every winter, please do these things for otherwise uniformed motorists in Adams and Brown counties:
• Please put a “road closed” sign on S.R. 41 in Bentonville just past the S.R. 136 intersection.
• Please put the same signage that you have leaving Manchester en route to Bentonville (“road construction,” “one-lane road,” “flagger ahead,” etc., on S.R. 136 from the Bentonville side. There was nothing from Bentonville warning motorists of the paving project.
• Please have better signage at your detour for those trying to get to Aberdeen on S.R. 41. Directing motorists to S.R. 763 – with nary another sign in sight – is pointless. If nothing else, at the road closing just outside of Aberdeen, why not place a sign that reads: “IF YOU WANT TO GET TO ABERDEEN, GO BACK THROUGH MANCHESTER.”
I realize that ODOT most likely cannot direct detoured drivers – especially truckers – to take township or county roads, but they’ve got to do a better job with this project on Route 41. Again, maybe someone did steal the signs. But we passed someone in an ODOT pickup twice. He was sitting in the shade by the barn on S.R. 136 in Bentonville. I wish he’d parked the truck crossways on S.R. 41 and wrote “road closed” on the side of the truck. That would have been a big help.
By the way, what happened to all that ODOT money from the the big increase in the gas and diesel taxes? Mike DeWine, here’s your sign.
I’m sure the very pleasant-looking lady with two dogs (one large, one small, both growling and barking) sitting on her front porch would appreciate it, too, if ODOT could better direct motorists headed to Aberdeen.
But I do thank ODOT for giving me reason to look up the Fizzleville Fair. It’s in August, on the 19th and 20th, in case you’re interested.
Rory Ryan is publisher and owner of The Highland County Press, Highland County’s only locally owned and operated newspaper.
For the record, I’ve never been lost in my life. However, after today’s scenic route to Maysville, Ky., I have been rather disoriented on two separate occasions – to both of which I give all due credit to the Ohio Department of Transportation and the Kentucky Department of Transportation.
For background, almost 20 years ago on returning from a South Carolina vacation, I decided to take U.S. 62 and/or 68 from around Paris, Ky., to Ohio. It was a very rainy spring that year, and we had a few detours, one of which led to the crest of a hill beneath which was a lake across the highway and fence lines on either side. There was no signage that this route was under water.
It was on this trip that I made my first – and last – trip through Neave, Ky.
Longtime Adams County attorney Roy Gabbert challenged me over the existence of Neave – until he finally drove there himself and posed for a photo by the village limit sign – which was in a tree. Neave never knew its notoriety in newspaperdom.
After a day’s work, I left The Highland County Press this afternoon to pick up the July Real Estate Monthly edition at the Maysville Ledger Independent.
Everything was right on schedule, so I asked my wife, Pam, if she wanted to ride along. She did. Which turned out to be a good thing (even if I still hate cell phones.)
From home, through Seaman, Youngsville, Cherry Fork, the Panhandle and Bentonville, the drive was fine. I even slowed to let two fat ducks waddle across S.R. 137 – where the horses used to take cover on the porch to get out of the rain – west of Youngsville. We waved at the Mennonites nearby and kept on moving.
After an uneventful southward turn in downtown Cherry Fork, we were headed for Bentonville – famous worldwide for its Anti-Horse Thief Society (see http://www.ohiohistorycentral.org/w/Bentonville_Anti-Horse_Thief_Society).
It was in this Ohio Historical Marker village where the trip basically fell apart.
Unless Bentonville has formed a recent Anti-ODOT Sign Thief Society that I don’t know about, I am blaming ODOT for the rest of this ordeal.
After passing through almost all of Bentonville on S.R. 41, I turned left on S.R. 136 near the old school. On the way to Manchester (proud home of Jack Roush and Joe Himes, by the way), we approached a considerable line of traffic backed up in the southbound lane – and no cars approaching in the northbound lane.
With no traffic moving – AND NO ODOT SIGNAGE ALONG ROUTE 136 at BENTONVILLE – I turned around and decided to get to Maysville via S.R. 41 to Aberdeen. Big mistake.
Pam and I joked about turning left at the edge of Bentonville and going by the Hilltop Golf Course and coming out at the old high school track and ball field in Manchester. Wish we’d done that. But then again, I said something along the lines of, “That’s a pretty winding route, as I recall from playing golf there with Jamie Burton many years back.”
Thus, we headed for Aberdeen.
For emphasis, the following point cannot be overstated: THERE WAS NO ODOT SIGNAGE ON S.R. 41 AT BENTONVILLE INDICATING THE ROAD WAS CLOSED BEFORE ONE COULD REACH ABERDEEN – MY ABERDEEN – PRETTIEST TOWN I’VE NEVER SEEN. MY ABERDEEN. My … never mind.
To be totally upfront, just at the edge of Bentonville, there was one ODOT sign for traffic headed toward Aberdeen. Its two words read: “END CONSTRUCTION.”
Just about the time we were closing in on Aberdeen, then on to Maysville for an estimated time of arrival around 5 p.m., we saw the first helpful ODOT signage of the trip: “ROAD CLOSED.”
The ODOT (OD-IDIOT) detour pointed us to the right on S.R. 763. We followed S.R. 763 for several miles – heading NORTH.
Unlike me, Pam does have a cell phone. She also had no cell service. After a few miles, I saw a very pleasant-looking lady with two dogs (one large, one small, both growling and barking) sitting on her front porch (I assume it was her porch). I backed up the hill to the house so Pam could ask for directions from the passenger side. I haven’t asked for directions yet, so why start today?
The very pleasant-looking lady with two dogs (one large, one small, both growling and barking) sitting on her front porch (I’m sure it was hers), advised that we could turn back toward Aberdeen and take the last road on the right (Stringtown Road) and take that to Flaugher Hill Road and make a hard left.
The trouble with that, I incorrectly thought, was that when we passed Stringtown Road, I saw an old sign that read “Impassable.”
So I asked Pam to ask the very pleasant-looking lady with two dogs (one large, one small, both growling and barking) sitting on her front porch about taking East Fork Road to U.S. 52 – an Ohio Scenic Byway, but at this point, I really didn’t give a good fizzlestick.
Pam said the very pleasant-looking lady with two dogs (one large, one small, both growling and barking) sitting on her front porch said that would take us to Ripley. It was that or going back to Bentonville or West Union and possibly reaching Maysville by way of Wrightsville.
So off we went to Ripley. A few miles later East Fork Road ended at S.R. 763. ODOT had GREAT SIGNS at the intersection: The one to the left read: “763 North,” and the one to the south read: you guessed it “763 South.”
Being that we were in Ohio and wanting to get to Kentucky, I turned south.
After a mile or so, we came upon a Dodge Caravan driving slow and looking lost. Then a green SUV joined our parade of the damned. A minute or two later, we waved as we passed the very pleasant-looking lady with two dogs (one large, one small, both growling and barking), who was still sitting on her front porch. I thought about stopping for a glass of lemonade.
At this point, Pam still had no cell service (just an occasional banjo note or five), but she did point out that all of us in the parade seemed lost. I prefer “disoriented.”
Just as we approached Stringtown Road for the second time, Pam’s GPS came alive. Apparently, so, too, did the driver’s GPS in the Dodge. The Caravan turned right – past the “Impassable” sign that also had a small image of a 1950s Mack truck with a slash through it. We followed, as did the lime green SUV.
Route 763 took us through the bucolic hamlet of Fizzleville. (It’s always good to give the nice folks of Fizzleville – and Neave – a shout-out.) Fizzleville is home to the Huntington Hotshots 4-H Club.
At the Stringtown Road and Flaugher Hill Road intersection, things could have ended very badly – so badly that you would not be wasting your time reading this gem.
When we reached Flaugher Hill Road, the Dodge broke up our happy caravan by pulling out in front of a cement-mixer truck that came barreling downhill and headed straight through a “road closed” sign to my right (west, I’m pretty sure). With the green SUV right behind me, I was all set to follow the Caravan (we happy few, we band of brothers), when Pam yelled to stop and make a hard left. That’s when I saw the truck for the first time.
In order to see oncoming traffic from the left at that intersection, one must have the ability to turn about 270 degrees. I’m sure the good folks of Fizzleville can tell you all about it.
After the caravan broke up (the green SUV followed us), we soon saw the new Aberdeen bridge and headed east to the old bridge beneath which were The Highland County Press July 2019 Real Estate Monthly copies.
I’m happy to report that our return trip was much less eventful.
To the great folks at ODOT, who I praised each and every winter, please do these things for otherwise uniformed motorists in Adams and Brown counties:
• Please put a “road closed” sign on S.R. 41 in Bentonville just past the S.R. 136 intersection.
• Please put the same signage that you have leaving Manchester en route to Bentonville (“road construction,” “one-lane road,” “flagger ahead,” etc., on S.R. 136 from the Bentonville side. There was nothing from Bentonville warning motorists of the paving project.
• Please have better signage at your detour for those trying to get to Aberdeen on S.R. 41. Directing motorists to S.R. 763 – with nary another sign in sight – is pointless. If nothing else, at the road closing just outside of Aberdeen, why not place a sign that reads: “IF YOU WANT TO GET TO ABERDEEN, GO BACK THROUGH MANCHESTER.”
I realize that ODOT most likely cannot direct detoured drivers – especially truckers – to take township or county roads, but they’ve got to do a better job with this project on Route 41. Again, maybe someone did steal the signs. But we passed someone in an ODOT pickup twice. He was sitting in the shade by the barn on S.R. 136 in Bentonville. I wish he’d parked the truck crossways on S.R. 41 and wrote “road closed” on the side of the truck. That would have been a big help.
By the way, what happened to all that ODOT money from the the big increase in the gas and diesel taxes? Mike DeWine, here’s your sign.
I’m sure the very pleasant-looking lady with two dogs (one large, one small, both growling and barking) sitting on her front porch would appreciate it, too, if ODOT could better direct motorists headed to Aberdeen.
But I do thank ODOT for giving me reason to look up the Fizzleville Fair. It’s in August, on the 19th and 20th, in case you’re interested.
Rory Ryan is publisher and owner of The Highland County Press, Highland County’s only locally owned and operated newspaper.