Some day - A return to civility?

Some days are better than others.

Some days the hate mail might be overwhelming – if it weren't so comical and predictable.

Some days the anonymous threats might be overwhelming – if they weren't so comical and predictable.

Some days we all could do a little better. A little better in family. A little better in faith. A little better in community. A little better in business. A little better in life.

For a bit of quiet introspection, I am 100-percent certain that I could do a little better. In all of the aforementioned categories. No question. I will try.

Some days I'd rather not speak with anyone born after 1980. Of course, I have three adult children born after 1980. I always enjoy speaking with them; but I have no doubt that each might have a difference of opinion, depending on the day and situation at hand, regarding any return conversation.

Some days I wish communicating was as easy as it used to be between my dad and me.

I grew up working on a surveying crew. When I wasn't playing baseball, my first full-time job was in Hillsboro in 1970. I was the "back-sight" man on a crew of five, two of whom were World War II veterans. When my old man (or anyone else) instructed me to do something, I did it. It was the chain of command. They knew best. Who was I to question?

They had the experience. They had the knowledge. They had the business acumen.

On the other hand, I was a lowly fourth-grader at Belfast Elementary School. Thus, I did what I was told. (Mostly.)

One of the reasons, I think, that business management was so much different a generation or two ago was that so many American workers were veterans.

As I've written before, my early years were greatly influenced – for better or worse – by being around military veterans. These were men who served in World War II, Korea and Vietnam.

They understood order and discipline and civility. For those of us growing up in their presence, we learned by example.

We didn't email about them. We didn't post insulting comments on social media. We didn't "text." We didn't "tweet." We didn't sneak up on them and take unwanted photos or videos, either. (I can only imagine if we did!)

We had respect.

If we didn't have respect, we'd quickly learn that we ought to have it. To be sure, they had their methods of persuasion.

Some days I think my generation was more blessed than today's. Most days, I am certain of it. Today, we have several ways in which we can communicate (in "real" time), be it online or Ipad or cell phone or electronic typewriter, for all I know.

What we lack, in my observation, is the ability to communicate face to face. We can't look one another in the eye and express our thoughts and opinions. We've lost that. Maybe we'll get it back, maybe we won't.

We've gained Facebook muscles, but lost common civility and one-on-one communication skills.

We can go to Highland County's most-visited website (www.highlandcountypress.com) and sign in anonymously and cuss the publisher or a public official or our next-door neighbor. Do we have the same courage to confront anyone face to face? I rather doubt it.

(For the record, for every online comment we do post for public reading, at least two are deleted due to their content. And personal threats will get you nowhere.)

Today's technological advances can be a wonderful thing. Really. But the basics still must apply. We ought to be able to disagree without becoming disagreeable. We ought to be able to shake hands at the end of a discussion. We ought to be able to say in person to someone the same words we choose to criticize him on social media.

I have had public school administrators tell me that the No. 1 problem in schools today stems from social media. A student has a bad day. He goes home and tells his parent or parents. The student goes online. The parent or parents go online. One comment leads to another. One insult leads to another. The student returns to school. The situation escalates. The end result is anyone's guess.

Some days I miss the simpler times. When straightforward questions brought straightforward answers. When public officials served the public interests rather than personal interests. When Republicans and Democrats disagreed 50 percent of the time and compromised on the other 50 percent. When truth mattered more than conjecture and when most Americans were smart enough to know the difference.

Some days...

Rory Ryan is the publisher and owner of The Highland County Press.