Ohio: If you can't find it here...

After a few beers and considerable deliberation, I’ve decided that my earlier hope for a Marco Rubio/Condi Rice ticket in 2016 was just wishful thinking. And boring thinking, at that.

Following the presidential debates thus far, there’s only one logical expectation for the 2016 circus, er, election.

Nothing could be more entertaining than watching Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders debate for the highest office in the land. And let’s face it: American politics have been reduced to Hollywood Light. It’s all about entertainment, these days. An honest-to-goodness American statesman doesn’t have a snowball’s chance in a fine kettle of worms of becoming president.

Voters do not want to hear about sound policy and tough decisions. No, they want promises (however empty) and amusement (however unfulfilled).

Who better to satisfy these simpleton wants than Trump and Sanders? In fact, if they’d team up, a Trump/Sanders ticket could carry the day on Nov. 8, 2016.

One last thing: Has anyone else noticed that Bernie Sanders sounds exactly like the character (whose face was never shown) who played New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner on the TV sitcom “Seinfeld?”

Find an old episode of “Seinfeld” on television or on the Internet just prior to the next Democrat debate or news conference. Then listen to Sanders answer a question.

If nothing else, you’ll be entertained – and that’s what it’s all about in politics.

* * *

Ohio bakery may
need more dough
before this one’s settled

In case you missed this one, a southwest Ohio bakery is attracting national attention – and widespread support – for its stand against political correctness.

The popular Springfield bakery and grocery, founded in 1937, is in the news for posting a business sign that reads: “Notice. This store is politically incorrect. We say Merry Christmas, God Bless America, we salute our flag and give thanks to our troops, police officers and firefighters. If this offends you, you are welcome to leave. In God We Trust.”

One fan of the sign, Candace Barnthouse Spaur, posted this on Schuler’s Facebook page Sunday, Nov. 22: “Finally, someone is taking the PC stuff and throwing it out the window. Merry Christmas and May Our GOD Bless you! Oh, and I love your donuts and coffee!”

The drive from here to Springfield is a piece of a cake. The next time I’m there I’ll stop by Schuler’s for at least a dozen doughnuts and maybe some friendship bread.

Here’s to the beginning of the end of political correctness. Thank you, Schuler’s Bakery.

* * *

‘Where’s Waldo?’
meets ‘Find it here’

Since Florida has already taken “The Sunshine State” and Texas is “The Lone Star State,” there wasn’t much left for Ohio’s Department of Tourism when they attempted to come up with a new state slogan.

For many years, Ohio dubbed itself “The heart of it all.” In fact, I thought the Buckeye State still was.

Nope.

“The heart of it all” apparently died of coronary failure and gave way to “So much to discover.”

Who knew?

After rejecting “The heart of it all” and “So much to discover,” and after a sales pitch costing taxpayers more than $5 million, someone in Columbus has decided on this brilliant non sequitur: “Ohio – Find it here.”

No kidding.

“Find it here” is our new logo/slogan/brand/embarrassment.

It’s kind of like “New York, New York.”

If you can’t find it here, you can’t find it anywhere. It’s up to you, Ohio, Ohio.

Phillip Morris writes about the new brand in The (Cleveland) Plain Dealer http://cleveland.suntimes.com/cle-news/7/91/322381/find-it-here-slogan-for-ohio-tourism-misses-the-mark-phillip-morris

“It sounds like a suggestion to toss the sofa cushions, looking for loose change. The new slogan also may be a little bit too easy to mock. Everyone’s family has pet sayings about finding lost objects. It’s a short trip from our new slogan to: “‘Ohio: Where did you see it last?’ Or, ‘Ohio: It’s always the last place you look.’”

Another funny thing about the new Ohio logo is that its colors aren’t scarlet and gray, but they do closely resemble another Big Ten school’s colors: The Minnesota Golden Gophers.

At least it’s not maize and blue.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Rory Ryan is publisher and owner of The Highland County Press.