Gonzo Journalism and Eric 'The Bulldog' Deters
By
Rory Ryan-hcpress@cinci.rr.com
Genius ’round the world stands hand in hand, and one shock of recognition runs the whole circle ’round.
It’s a doggone shame Hunter Thompson did not live long enough to see the erudite vision of his final column come to fruition.
In a column titled “Shotgun Golf with Bill Murray,” the Good Doctor Thompson told the comedic actor and erstwhile duffer, “I’m working on a profoundly goofy story here. It’s wonderful. I’ve invented a new sport. It’s called Shotgun Golf (Do NOT try this at home.) We will rule the world with this thing.”
As explained by the late HST, Shotgun Golf is basically a simple sport. It takes two players. A 9-iron. A 12-gauge shotgun. Lots of golf balls. And lots of shotgun shells.
Player A has the 9-iron. Player B has the shotgun. From the initial point of contact (with either ball or shell), about 100 yards away is a green, a hole and a pin with a flag.
The objective is obvious.
If the golfer with the 9-iron reaches the green, he/she gets one point. If the anti-golfer with the 12-gauge shotgun blows the golf ball to smithergreens in flight, he/she gets one point.
Genius. Pure Genius.
The only problem with Shotgun Golf is rounding up enough players for League Night. In this Modern Era of Political Correctness, who’s going to voluntarily play Shotgun Golf?
As it is, I know a few such Athletes and Potential Olympians.
Naturally, we’ll change their names somewhat to protect their identities and places of employment.
To begin, I’d volunteer for either Player A or Player B. I can hit a nice, high, soft 9-iron from 100 yards out fairly well. I can also hit an Object in Flight with my old H&R single-barrel 12-gauge shotgun. For a teammate, I’d take my son, Colin; but only as the shooter. He once shot the back half of a wild turkey out of a poplar tree. But he’s not real accurate with his left-handed golf clubs.
As far as competition, I’d like for our team to take on the two-person tandem of David “Old Rebar” Irstle and Randy “Old Ironsides” Handler in Round One.
David (please, call him “Dave”) once told me I am the epitome of Robert Duvall’s character as Hub McCann in the classic family film “Secondhand Lions.”
That may or may not be true. But if it is, Mr. Irstle is every bit Hub’s brother, Garth McCann, as played by Michael Caine. He really is.
“Secondhand Lions,” released in 2003, is an American family film classic. Or, it should be. The setting is an isolated, old Texas farm, where two World War I veteran brothers, perfectly content to live out their remaining years drinking longnecks and shooting clay pigeons from the front porch, are invaded by their 14-year-old nephew, Walter.
Of course, on the day of young Walter’s arrival, Hub and Garth are fishing. That is, they are standing knee-deep in their farm pond, shooting at bass with their pump-action shotguns. Livin’ the good life.
But back to Shotgun Golf. That was a near-brilliant idea that old HST had, but me and Old Rebar and Old Ironsides have an even better idea: Shotguns and Old Crow(s).
I’ll have to check on this, but I think Old Crow(s) is almost always in season in the Buckeye State. I’m sure one of my game warden pals can fill me in on when it’s legal and illegal to shoot the fowl nuisance. I’ll bet John Hern knows. I’ve heard rumors about John and Tim Schlater on some Wild Turkey hunts, but I’m sure they’re just rumors.
When and if crow shooting is in season (weekends from June to March, I’m told), I’ve got a few competitive angles that will make Shotgun Golf seem tamer than Jasmine, the toothless Secondhand Lion.
Remind me to report back on this one. And as the Gonzo Journalist said to Bill Murray, “We’ll obviously have to make a movie. This will mushroom or mutate – either way – into a real craze. And given the mood of this country, being that a lot of people in the mood to play golf are also in the mood to shoot something, I think it would take off like a gigantic fad.”
Lock and Load.
* * *
The late Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, was born and raised in Louisville, Ky.
His books include “Hell’s Angels,” “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas,” “Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail ’72,” “The Great Shark Hunt,” “The Rum Diary,” “Fear and Loathing in America,” and others.
This week, The Highland County Press is happy to introduce its own Gonzo Journalist in one Eric Charles Deters, also a native of the Bluegrass State (or commonwealth).
Mr. Deters, who owns a law practice in northern Kentucky, grew up on a farm in Kenton County. He and I both graduated high school in 1979. I made it through the academic rigors of Whiteoak by age 17 (no small miracle, given what my teachers had to work with). Mr. Deters graduated Covington Latin School, a college preparatory school, in 1979 at the age of 15. That’s impressive.
As the father of two daughters who earned college degrees prior to graduating high school – one at age 17, and one at 16 – I have great admiration for those who respect higher education. Apparently, Mr. Deters does. My hunch is that his parents do, too.
Mr. Deters earned degrees in history and business administration from Thomas More College. He picked up his law degree from Salmon P. Chase College of Law. And in 1987, he was the youngest lawyer in the state. He started his own law firm in 1998 and he’s licensed to practice law in Kentucky, Ohio and Florida.
His reputation as an attorney has been described as: passionate, aggressive, reasonable, tenacious and hard-working.
As Mr. Deters says in his first Highland County Press column on this website, he credits his work ethic to his upbringing on the farm. He credits his passion to his Scotch-Irish heritage on his mother’s side and his love of history.
Once the chairman of the Kenton County Republican Party and Fourth Congressional District of Kentucky, he is now a registered Independent. He considers himself politically bi-polar. He can be heard frequently on 700 WLW Radio in Cincinnati.
His friends call him the Bulldog, which I like because I used to work side by side with the original Bulldog Journalist, Paul F. “Bulldog” Nelson, in Portsmouth.
Mr. Deters also is the owner of Bulldog’s Roadhouse at Newport on the Levee. Stop by and say hello to him, and let him know you read his column in The Highland County Press, the county’s only locally owned and operated newspaper.
Rory Ryan is publisher and editor of The Highland County Press.[[In-content Ad]]
– Herman Melville, as quoted
by Hunter Thompson
by Hunter Thompson
It’s a doggone shame Hunter Thompson did not live long enough to see the erudite vision of his final column come to fruition.
In a column titled “Shotgun Golf with Bill Murray,” the Good Doctor Thompson told the comedic actor and erstwhile duffer, “I’m working on a profoundly goofy story here. It’s wonderful. I’ve invented a new sport. It’s called Shotgun Golf (Do NOT try this at home.) We will rule the world with this thing.”
As explained by the late HST, Shotgun Golf is basically a simple sport. It takes two players. A 9-iron. A 12-gauge shotgun. Lots of golf balls. And lots of shotgun shells.
Player A has the 9-iron. Player B has the shotgun. From the initial point of contact (with either ball or shell), about 100 yards away is a green, a hole and a pin with a flag.
The objective is obvious.
If the golfer with the 9-iron reaches the green, he/she gets one point. If the anti-golfer with the 12-gauge shotgun blows the golf ball to smithergreens in flight, he/she gets one point.
Genius. Pure Genius.
The only problem with Shotgun Golf is rounding up enough players for League Night. In this Modern Era of Political Correctness, who’s going to voluntarily play Shotgun Golf?
As it is, I know a few such Athletes and Potential Olympians.
Naturally, we’ll change their names somewhat to protect their identities and places of employment.
To begin, I’d volunteer for either Player A or Player B. I can hit a nice, high, soft 9-iron from 100 yards out fairly well. I can also hit an Object in Flight with my old H&R single-barrel 12-gauge shotgun. For a teammate, I’d take my son, Colin; but only as the shooter. He once shot the back half of a wild turkey out of a poplar tree. But he’s not real accurate with his left-handed golf clubs.
As far as competition, I’d like for our team to take on the two-person tandem of David “Old Rebar” Irstle and Randy “Old Ironsides” Handler in Round One.
David (please, call him “Dave”) once told me I am the epitome of Robert Duvall’s character as Hub McCann in the classic family film “Secondhand Lions.”
That may or may not be true. But if it is, Mr. Irstle is every bit Hub’s brother, Garth McCann, as played by Michael Caine. He really is.
“Secondhand Lions,” released in 2003, is an American family film classic. Or, it should be. The setting is an isolated, old Texas farm, where two World War I veteran brothers, perfectly content to live out their remaining years drinking longnecks and shooting clay pigeons from the front porch, are invaded by their 14-year-old nephew, Walter.
Of course, on the day of young Walter’s arrival, Hub and Garth are fishing. That is, they are standing knee-deep in their farm pond, shooting at bass with their pump-action shotguns. Livin’ the good life.
But back to Shotgun Golf. That was a near-brilliant idea that old HST had, but me and Old Rebar and Old Ironsides have an even better idea: Shotguns and Old Crow(s).
I’ll have to check on this, but I think Old Crow(s) is almost always in season in the Buckeye State. I’m sure one of my game warden pals can fill me in on when it’s legal and illegal to shoot the fowl nuisance. I’ll bet John Hern knows. I’ve heard rumors about John and Tim Schlater on some Wild Turkey hunts, but I’m sure they’re just rumors.
When and if crow shooting is in season (weekends from June to March, I’m told), I’ve got a few competitive angles that will make Shotgun Golf seem tamer than Jasmine, the toothless Secondhand Lion.
Remind me to report back on this one. And as the Gonzo Journalist said to Bill Murray, “We’ll obviously have to make a movie. This will mushroom or mutate – either way – into a real craze. And given the mood of this country, being that a lot of people in the mood to play golf are also in the mood to shoot something, I think it would take off like a gigantic fad.”
Lock and Load.
* * *
The late Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, was born and raised in Louisville, Ky.
His books include “Hell’s Angels,” “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas,” “Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail ’72,” “The Great Shark Hunt,” “The Rum Diary,” “Fear and Loathing in America,” and others.
This week, The Highland County Press is happy to introduce its own Gonzo Journalist in one Eric Charles Deters, also a native of the Bluegrass State (or commonwealth).
Mr. Deters, who owns a law practice in northern Kentucky, grew up on a farm in Kenton County. He and I both graduated high school in 1979. I made it through the academic rigors of Whiteoak by age 17 (no small miracle, given what my teachers had to work with). Mr. Deters graduated Covington Latin School, a college preparatory school, in 1979 at the age of 15. That’s impressive.
As the father of two daughters who earned college degrees prior to graduating high school – one at age 17, and one at 16 – I have great admiration for those who respect higher education. Apparently, Mr. Deters does. My hunch is that his parents do, too.
Mr. Deters earned degrees in history and business administration from Thomas More College. He picked up his law degree from Salmon P. Chase College of Law. And in 1987, he was the youngest lawyer in the state. He started his own law firm in 1998 and he’s licensed to practice law in Kentucky, Ohio and Florida.
His reputation as an attorney has been described as: passionate, aggressive, reasonable, tenacious and hard-working.
As Mr. Deters says in his first Highland County Press column on this website, he credits his work ethic to his upbringing on the farm. He credits his passion to his Scotch-Irish heritage on his mother’s side and his love of history.
Once the chairman of the Kenton County Republican Party and Fourth Congressional District of Kentucky, he is now a registered Independent. He considers himself politically bi-polar. He can be heard frequently on 700 WLW Radio in Cincinnati.
His friends call him the Bulldog, which I like because I used to work side by side with the original Bulldog Journalist, Paul F. “Bulldog” Nelson, in Portsmouth.
Mr. Deters also is the owner of Bulldog’s Roadhouse at Newport on the Levee. Stop by and say hello to him, and let him know you read his column in The Highland County Press, the county’s only locally owned and operated newspaper.
Rory Ryan is publisher and editor of The Highland County Press.[[In-content Ad]]