A few observations and resolutions

Since HCP columnist Gary Lewis ruined my Party at the End of the World by boldly predicting the world would not, in fact, come to its predestined finality on Dec. 21, you are all blessed (or cursed) with my obligatory New Year’s Observations and Resolutions column.

Being an eternal optimist – and one who rises each morning around 5 a.m. just tickled to be alive – I tend to always look on the bright side of life. (Whistle your own tune, Monty Python fans.)

Looking ahead to 2013 – and, for the record, I’m ready to bid farewell to 2012 – I think it’s going to be a very interesting year.

For one thing, Ohio will be sending three newcomers to Congress – Columbus Democrat Joyce Beatty, David Joyce, an Akron Republican, and Brad Wenstrup, R-Cincinnati. How cool is that? This means that three congressional incumbents are gone. Good riddance. I mean, peace be with them.

Next year will see Highland County’s return to a congressional district that actually makes some sense. The post-2000 census GOP gerrymandering had placed Highland County in a suburban Dayton district for the past decade. This made about as much sense as putting Highland County in a Columbus district with none of our neighboring counties along for the political junket. (Wait, that almost happened.)

Beginning in 2013, Highland County will become part of Ohio’s Second Congressional District, represented by one of the state’s three House freshmen, Dr. Brad Wenstrup, a good man, in my opinion.

Brad is a lieutenant colonel in the Army Reserves, and served as a medic in Iraq. From June 2005 to June 2006, he served as chief of surgery at Abu Ghraib prison hospital in Iraq and earned a Bronze Star.

“I made it home, while others didn’t,” he said earlier this year. “It gave me a greater appreciation of life and of freedom.”

I have just one request for Congressman-elect Wenstrup: The first time you send a news release and photo of a bill that sends taxpayers’ money back to Ohio – or anywhere else, do me a favor and find a hard-working, middle-income taxpayers to be in the photo. Do not insult our intelligence by sending out the all-too-typical political press releases, written by
party hacks (who put the “hack” in hackneyed), that begin with “Congressman Wenstrup funds Project ABC in the Second District … blah, blah, blah.”

Instead, do something original.

Speak with a few southern Ohio taxpayers and let them know the benefits of Project ABC; e.g. job creation or job preservation. Ask one or two of these erstwhile unknown and unappreciated taxpayers to appear in the press release photo announcing the bill’s introduction and passage.

Two years ago this month, my good friend and longtime college professor Bill Horne passed away at the age of 70. Bill had campaigned a few times for the Ohio House of Representatives.

He had always promised to include the working-class taxpayers in any legislation he supported for the House district.

“After all,” Bill would say, “It’s not my money, it’s theirs.”

Exactly.

For those unaccustomed to reading the majority of political press releases in their pre-edited versions, let me explain. Simply put, too many of the paid party hacks write these press releases as if their political boss were Jesus Christ. He’s not. And you’re not William F. Buckley, Jr.

Maybe Dr. Wenstrup will surprise me and have his staff include the taxpaying public in any future legislation. As Bill Horne said, “After all, it’s their money.”

* * *

To my friends who’ve asked, no, I haven’t overlooked the fact that the Notre Dame Fighting Irish just completed a perfect 2012 and head coach Brian Kelly was named the national Coach of the Year.

Nor has it slipped my mind that we are approaching the 40th anniversary of what I will always believe to be the greatest college football game in my lifetime (the 2003 Ohio State/Miami Fiesta Bowl notwithstanding).

In January 1973, Notre Dame defeated Alabama, 24-23, to win the Sugar Bowl and the national championship. Ara Parseghian and Paul “Bear” Bryant were the respective coaches. Alabama was No. 1 in the nation. Notre Dame was No. 2.

Legendary broadcaster Howard Cosell said during the 1973 Sugar Bowl: “At Notre Dame, football is a religion; at Alabama, it’s a way of life.” Classic Cosell.

On Jan. 7, 2013, Notre Dame and Alabama will play again for the national championship. If you’ve read any of my previous columns in the past 22 years, you know where my loyalties are.

Resolutions

For newspaper columnists, writing about one’s New Year’s resolutions is as mandatory as submitting a decrease in the ensuing year’s budget expenses – that is, if you write for some corporate conglomerate. Trust me, on that one.

My resolutions no longer concern themselves with feeding the corporate suits and their considerable appetites. Besides, no matter how much you feed them, many of them still end up in bankruptcy court.

Enough of the industry woes; happily, we’re not part of the mainstream media.

Thus, without further ado, here are a few of my new year’s resolutions – all of which will be broken before Presidents Day.

• I resolve to listen to at least one song by Adele. Until watching “60 Minutes” this past Sunday, I’d never heard of Adele.

• I resolve to listen to at least one CD by Rodriguez. Until watching “60 Minutes” this past Sunday, I’d never heard of Rodriguez. Mexican-American folk musician Sixto Diaz Rodriguez and I share the same birth date (19 years apart).

• I resolve not to listen (intentionally) to any songs by Taylor Swift, who also was on “60 Minutes” this past Sunday.

• I resolve to listen to “Chasin the Wind,” also known as the Key West National Anthem, by Michael McCloud at least once a week.

• I resolve to work as many hours as I did in 2012 and exercise more than I did this year, while not watching any fewer football games. Multi-tasking is the key.

• I resolve to be more positive and less judgmental, especially about people who play competitive badminton. (No shuttlecock jokes, please.)

• I resolve to continue to point out the occasional improprieties, inconsistencies and irregularities by government officeholders.

• I resolve to continue to offer the occasional praise for government officeholders who refrain from the aforementioned improprieties, inconsistencies and irregularities.

• I resolve to follow the advice of Dave Barry before making any unrealistic resolutions.

As Barry wrote in a New Year’s column many years ago, keeping it real is the key. Barry said, for example, that an unrealistic resolution would be vowing to learn to speak Chinese; whereas, a realistic resolution would be promising yourself that you would order Chinese food. A man’s got to know his limitations.

Happy New Year.

Rory Ryan is publisher of The Highland County Press.