Birthdays for Mom

By Steve Roush
HCP columnist
 
Ladies and gentlemen, a good doctor once wrote, “How did it get so late so soon?”
 
I really don’t want to write this one. Not right now. It feels like I just did this for my Dad. It just feels too soon.
 
I want to apologize in advance to my Mom. I’m sure I can’t write what I feel in my heart about you. And if you, Dear Reader, are taking a few moments of your day to read this, I sincerely thank you.
 
My Mom, Judith Anne “Judy” Roush, celebrated her 82nd birthday this month. On Saturday, Aug. 10, to be exact. Exactly one week earlier, her siblings came and celebrated the day of her birth. On her birthday, we celebrated her birthday. During these celebrations, there were cards, flowers, balloons, a cake and a homemade pie. And there was love.
 
In the passing days, she’d get a birthday card or two and I remember telling her, “Mom, your birthday keeps going and going.” 

She smiled and said, “I know.” There was one particular card she was so happy to show me and told me she wanted me to take it home with me. I started to read it to her and couldn’t finish because it started to make me cry. (To the author, I will thank you next time I see you.)
 
Five days after her birthday, I got a call early in the morning. It was a call I knew might come, but I didn’t expect it that day. She had passed away.
 
The past six months, to me, were sort of like the movie “Groundhog Day,” but days progressively got worse, as far as my Mom’s health was concerned. I hate cancer. It took my Dad, and it was slowly taking my Mom. But I never saw a person so positive and optimistic. 

While she battled the insidious disease, she battled hard with a smile on her face. She witnessed to people who were taking care of her, I saw it firsthand. Anyone who knew my Mom knows how sweet and loving she is. She was an educator who taught and impacted so many young children over the years. I’ve talked to some of her former students or the parents of her former students, who told me what a difference she made, or that she was their favorite teacher. One of her principals said when she learned of Mom’s passing that Mom could teach a child to think, never lost a minute of learning time and that respect was at the top of the list in her classroom.
 
She loved her family and friends. Two days after Mom’s birthday, my brother Eric texted her about how appreciative he was about what loving parents God has blessed us with and that she has always been the biggest fan of all of her children and family and that support and encouragement has made us who we are today.
 
It's true. More than 12 years ago, I abruptly lost my job. The very next morning, my Mom got in her car, went to town and wanted an explanation. She wasn’t impressed with what she heard. But that turned out to be one of (if not) the biggest blessings in disguise I ever had in all my years. 

Not long after, I accepted a position that I hold to this day, and it has allowed me to “work from home.” I put that in quotes because I do a lot of that from my office at my folks’ home, the home in which I grew up. The home my great-great-great grandfather, Joshua Brown (1807-1867), built. The farm is an Ohio Sesquicentennial Farm. (And there’s our history lesson of the day.) But more importantly, it allowed me to spend day after day, month after month, year after year, with my parents. It allowed us to get very close, to become friends. For that, I thank you so very much, Jim Thompson.
 
Mom loved her parents. After her father, Howard Robson, passed away in 1994, Mom told me that Granddad had told her, “Don’t be sad, Judy, you’ll see me again in a blink of an eye.”
 
That blink came five days after my Mom’s birthday.
 
She loved her family. When Dad, Wesley Kenneth “Ken” Roush, passed away Sept. 16, 2020 at the age of 78, she wrote the following in her notebook, “You said you’d love me to the end. The end has come and you are gone. Yet in my heart, there is no end. You’ve gone to a special place that no one can touch. You’re near and I can feel your precious presence. We were one and that cannot be severed. Our strength is together. You’ll always be with me because love has no end.”
 
I found those precious words, and for that Christmas, my siblings, Eric, Sheila, Grant and Kristen, and I had a special necklace made with the words, “love has no end,” in her handwriting. She loved that gift and for the longest time wore it around her neck with Dad’s wedding ring until she lost the necklace and ring at Kroger a while back. Fortunately, someone found the necklace and ring and Mom got both back. To whoever turned it in, I give you my heartfelt and sincere thanks. If you read this, please contact me, I would love you know who you are. After that, she wore the necklace but put the wedding ring away.
 
Most of all, she loved God.
 
After that phone call I received five days after Mom’s birthday, I made the drive I made every day for a while, and when I got there, Mom looked so peaceful. I sat down beside her just as I did countless times before. As I quietly sat there, I noticed a window was open and a breeze and the "Happy Birthday" balloons were gently swaying. The cards were still lined up and the flowers were still in bloom.
 
I saw her Bible beside her bed. I opened it right to where there was a card, and she had written on that card, “Heavenly Father, I thank you for the victory I have in you. You are my refuge, my strength and my reward. All I need is in you.”
 
Amen. The best birthday gift anyone could have.
 
I would wager that I’ve said “I love you” more times in the past six months than any other six-month span in my lifetime. Another gift from my Mom. I encourage you to take her advice. Tell the people you love that you love them, and tell them that often. You won’t regret it. I know I don’t.
 
When I was looking through some things, I came across something I gave Mom on May 6, 1983, when I was in elementary school. It said, “Dear Mom, Hi! Thank you for being my Mom. I love you very much. Just to show you how much I love you, just read this book! Love, Stephen Roush.” In the “book,” I had two coupons of sorts. One said, “Judy is allowed to kiss Stephen,” with an asterisk that the offer expires on June 1st. The other said that my Mom can tell me that I can’t yell at Eric … that coupon expired after Mother’s Day. (Sorry, Eric!)
 
I love so much you, Mom. Happy Birthday and say hi to Dad and our Grandparents. I’m sure this is your best birthday ever. I’ll be back in a blink of an eye.
 
Steve Roush is president of the Highland County Historical Society and served as chairman and vice chairman on the HCHS Board of Trustees for two terms, a board member of the Highland District Hospital Foundation, a vice president of an international media company and a columnist and contributing writer for The Highland County Press. He can be reached by email at roush_steve@msn.com.

Pictured are Ken and Judy Roush.