The new tyranny

By Jim Thompson
HCP columnist

The new tyranny is not out in the open, but it affects nearly all of us. It is perpetrated in cubicles, offices and meetings involving people invisible to us. Yet, if you have an email address, it reaches you.  

I am talking about the pre-visit questionnaire from doctors, hospitals and other care providers delivered to you via email or text. One I recently received started with “You must check in now for your appointment.”  

Would it have been too hard to ask me, “Will you please check in now to make sure we have your information correct?”  

The latter would surely put me in a better mood, especially since this appointment is all the way across Atlanta at 7:40 a.m. (The allegedly renowned doctor in this practice only see adults before 8 a.m.)

The next line assured me this form filling process would only take 10 minutes. Hmm…are you planning on paying me for these 10 minutes? Suddenly, I feel like I am at the self-check-out line at my local big box store.

I trudge on…

Surely, I thought, they are going to ask me to verify my medications, health history and other pertinent information. Nah – they weren’t interested in that at all.

They wanted to know my “partnership status” (gave me the urge to talk to them about our dog, Broc). They wanted to know who was responsible for paying their bill. Then, there were questions about phone numbers, mailing address, and email address (which they obviously had since they had sent this missive via email). Then, there were long statements of legalese, obviously written by their lawyers.

For these statements, of course, they declared themselves faultless for any malpractice, and demanded that I agree with them.

They ended with a question about a third party (whose name I did not recognize), where they would like to share the results of anything they did with me. Thank goodness, I was allowed to say “no” to that question without being thrown out of the system.

This is typical of the experiences I have had, even with providers I see regularly.

Then, of course, I can expect text messages nearly daily from now until the appointment with a response required from me verifying I plan on being there for the appointment. This last exercise I find to be no fault of the practice but the fault of all the people today who don’t take appointment commitments seriously. I don’t blame them for being nervous about patients showing up.

This all compares unfavorably with the experience I had at age 8, when the next-door neighbor boy hit me in the head with a hoe while he and I were digging for oil in my back yard. My mother called our doctor at his home that evening. He met us at his office and sewed up my construction wound for $2. I didn’t even have to fill out a workers' compensation form and no lawyer chased me wanting to handle my case.

Jim Thompson, formerly of Marshall, is a graduate of Hillsboro High School and the University of Cincinnati. He resides in Duluth, Ga. and is a columnist for The Highland County Press.