Lawn-mowing complications

By Jim Thompson
HCP columnist

When I was a little boy, my dad snookered me into lawn mowing by suggesting this is an activity “big boys do.”  

After he got me well lathered up with this concept, he drilled two new bolt holes in the handle of our reel type push mower so that it would be at the correct height for me when they were used. Then, every February we would take “my mower” across town to the guy that sharpened reel mowers. You did this in February to avoid getting in his backed-up spring line when you might not get your mower returned until June.

As an adult, over the years, I have had various gasoline powered mowers. I lent the last one of these I had to the teenager next door a few years ago. He was supposed to cut his parents’ yard and my yard with it.  

I paid him a nominal amount, since he was using my mower. He became somewhat lackadaisical and delinquent about mowing my grass in a timely fashion.  

One evening I cut a couple of sticks to a certain length and went over to see him and his dad. They were big into Boy Scouts, so I had incorporated this into my talk I wanted to have with them. I took them to my front yard.  

“Have either of you ever heard of Fire Sticks?” Well, no they had not. Thinking this was something Boy Scoutish, they were anxious to learn.

“Then let me introduce you to Fire Sticks.” I showed them that my two sticks were exactly the same length. Told the teenager that one was his and one was mine. Then I bent over and placed my Fire Stick vertical with one end touching the ground. I had their attention. 

“Now, if anytime I come out in my yard with my Fire Stick, place it just like I did now, and the grass height exceeds the top of the Fire Stick, you’re fired.”

Teenager looked kind of dour, father doubled over with laughter. No more problems.

After a few years, he went to college and his parents moved to Florida.

I decided to go modern. I bought a robotic lawnmower. This was a few years ago when they had a boundary wire to keep them within your yard. I fought the boundary wire for three years. It would break all the time, and it would take hours to find the break. If the boundary wire did not complete the circuit, the mower was dead.

A couple of years ago, I bought one that was operated by satellites, no boundary wire. Great looking machine that looks like a miniature racecar. It worked great while it was out in the open, not under the trees – it couldn’t see the satellites.

Now I can’t walk without aid, usually a rollator. Walking behind a mower is no longer an option. I am looking at a third robotic mower that uses yet a different guide system. We’ll see how it works.

You may ask why I don’t have someone mow my grass? It is $250 per month here. Let’s see if three times is a charm. I’ll report later.

Jim Thompson, formerly of Marshall, is a graduate of Hillsboro High School and the University of Cincinnati. He resides in Duluth, Ga. and is a columnist for The Highland County Press.