Surviving a bad football season
By
Stephen Forsha-sforsha@gmail.com
I want to take this time to apologize to any Cincinnati Bengals fans in the '90s by telling jokes, laughing at their misfortunes or making fun of the inept play they had during their run of consecutive losing seasons (1). (By the way, I've added footnotes this week.)
What is the old saying ... Karma is a (cough).
I sure know the true meaning of that this season.
As most people know, I love the Dallas Cowboys football team. In fact, I still have my very first Dallas Cowboys coat that I got as a gift in 1989 when I was around 5 years old. I've been with this team when they won just one game in that same year, but all I have memories of are that coat and Ed "Too Tall" Jones. By the way, they finished that season with one win. (2)
It's not like that today. At 26 years old, I can remember what happens, especially after a 45-7 loss to the Green Bay Packers on Sunday Night Football. Sometimes, it can ruin my week. I try to forget about it, but if you follow your team like I do, it's hard to just let it go. I'm getting better though, but it's a 25-step process.
This season reminds me of the song, "Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?"
Really, where are they? Because the team that steps onto that field every week doesn't play Dallas Cowboys football.
I'm pretty sure Paula Cole (3) wasn't singing about the Dallas Cowboys (in "Where Have All The Cowboys Gone"), but if she was, it would sound something like this:
"Where is my Troy Aikman/Where is my Emmitt Smith/ Where is my Michael Irvin/Where have all the Cowboys gone ..." (4)
You can see I am on the edge this football season. I don't get this stressed over most sports.
Sure, I get angry over baseball and basketball games at times, but there is something about when the Cowboys stink that just sticks with me. It's like when maple syrup gets on your fingers or on a table. Yes, it is really tough to get that sticky gunk off. That sums up this football season.
Maybe I am worse than most. I love the organization of the Dallas Cowboys. I can't lie about that. I don't get attached to players anymore, I just want them to play like Cowboys of my childhood, and like the Cowboys before I was born. (5) I'm tired of the patty cake antics I've had to endure this year.
The Cowboys of my elementary school years spoiled me. The Cowboys of my high school years were crap, and now they are just a tease.
Which brings me to this point ... creating a "how to survive a terrible football season" guide. A self-help list to use during a bad football game.
What can we do to make the games watchable, even though our teams have decided it is too much trouble to score more points than their opponents on a consistent basis?
Cincinnati Bengals fans know what I'm talking about.
Here is what I do to make watching the NFL more than just staring hopelessly at the TV every week like it is a car wreck on the side of the road.
Time for some deep breaths, and let's try to get through this.
I think.
• This is why we can't have nice things!
Keep breakables, especially cell phones out of reach during games. Trust me, I have possibly thrown a phone or four in my life when a play goes wrong, or when Eli Manning, Donovan McNabb or even David Garrard can expose how weak the Cowboys' defense truly is.
Which brings me to another way to keep sane when any team that we care way too much about decides Sunday is actually a day of rest.
• Join a fantasy football league
This is a easy way for football fans to have a team they actually control, and possibly win money. This has helped me forget (to a certain degree) about how bad my team really is because my focus during the week is about how to make my fantasy team better. It gets me out of reality, but that fantasy can pay off if your fantasy team wins. (6)
On to my next point.
• Have a remote control
This is an easy way to keep your blood pressure from getting too high. When your team starts doing bad, take the remote, don't throw it, but just flip the channel to the Food Network or the History Channel for 10 minutes. Then, it can be OK to flip back and see how your team has improved. If they still are playing unacceptably, continue to channel surf until you find an old episode of "The Andy Griffith Show." (7)
• Watch "America's Game"
Have you ever seen these NFL documentaries on past Super Bowl champions? They are told by the players who played in the games, talking about their season that year. They are the best films the NFL has made, and no matter what team you cheer for, these DVDs are a great way to learn about the history of the Super Bowl Ð because if you like a bad team, they sure aren't going to be in it this year. This is a very good way to get away from watching football that just isn't worth watching anymore. (8)
Are we doing any better yet? Yes? Well, just in case you are still having trouble coping with a terrible season, let's continue.
• Yelling can be a good thing.
Just in moderation.
Please, don't go ape crazy at a restaurant, and if at home, don't do it every game. It's not healthy. But, I have figured out to save it to a point of the season when things are at its worst. For me, this season, it was the night Tony Romo was injured against the Giants. I knew right then and there all hope was over for the season. I may have "lost it," so to speak, but I didn't curse (surprisingly). That was the last time I really yelled at the so-called Dallas Cowboys this year. (9)
For Bengals fans, it was probably Monday night against the Pittsburgh Steelers, knowing their season was over.
Sigh, this is harder than I expected.
• Let's concentrate on the good things.
At least we are watching the great game of football. What better way to spend a fall or winter weekend than watching football. I try to remember though my team is down (OK, they are awful), there will be better times ahead. Right? I sure hope so, sigh.
What's the saying? There's always next year. It's OK to be angry at your team (10). In fact, it's OK to let them know you are angry. But here is my word of advice if you are deciding to leave your team for another: Players always change, but the team will always be there (unless they skip town like the Baltimore Colts or the old Cleveland Browns, but mostly, they will be there).
It can't get any worse, can it? (11)
All of us can get through this, but we have to survive it first. (12)
Stephen Forsha is the sports editor of The Highland County Press. (13)[[In-content Ad]]
What is the old saying ... Karma is a (cough).
I sure know the true meaning of that this season.
As most people know, I love the Dallas Cowboys football team. In fact, I still have my very first Dallas Cowboys coat that I got as a gift in 1989 when I was around 5 years old. I've been with this team when they won just one game in that same year, but all I have memories of are that coat and Ed "Too Tall" Jones. By the way, they finished that season with one win. (2)
It's not like that today. At 26 years old, I can remember what happens, especially after a 45-7 loss to the Green Bay Packers on Sunday Night Football. Sometimes, it can ruin my week. I try to forget about it, but if you follow your team like I do, it's hard to just let it go. I'm getting better though, but it's a 25-step process.
This season reminds me of the song, "Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?"
Really, where are they? Because the team that steps onto that field every week doesn't play Dallas Cowboys football.
I'm pretty sure Paula Cole (3) wasn't singing about the Dallas Cowboys (in "Where Have All The Cowboys Gone"), but if she was, it would sound something like this:
"Where is my Troy Aikman/Where is my Emmitt Smith/ Where is my Michael Irvin/Where have all the Cowboys gone ..." (4)
You can see I am on the edge this football season. I don't get this stressed over most sports.
Sure, I get angry over baseball and basketball games at times, but there is something about when the Cowboys stink that just sticks with me. It's like when maple syrup gets on your fingers or on a table. Yes, it is really tough to get that sticky gunk off. That sums up this football season.
Maybe I am worse than most. I love the organization of the Dallas Cowboys. I can't lie about that. I don't get attached to players anymore, I just want them to play like Cowboys of my childhood, and like the Cowboys before I was born. (5) I'm tired of the patty cake antics I've had to endure this year.
The Cowboys of my elementary school years spoiled me. The Cowboys of my high school years were crap, and now they are just a tease.
Which brings me to this point ... creating a "how to survive a terrible football season" guide. A self-help list to use during a bad football game.
What can we do to make the games watchable, even though our teams have decided it is too much trouble to score more points than their opponents on a consistent basis?
Cincinnati Bengals fans know what I'm talking about.
Here is what I do to make watching the NFL more than just staring hopelessly at the TV every week like it is a car wreck on the side of the road.
Time for some deep breaths, and let's try to get through this.
I think.
• This is why we can't have nice things!
Keep breakables, especially cell phones out of reach during games. Trust me, I have possibly thrown a phone or four in my life when a play goes wrong, or when Eli Manning, Donovan McNabb or even David Garrard can expose how weak the Cowboys' defense truly is.
Which brings me to another way to keep sane when any team that we care way too much about decides Sunday is actually a day of rest.
• Join a fantasy football league
This is a easy way for football fans to have a team they actually control, and possibly win money. This has helped me forget (to a certain degree) about how bad my team really is because my focus during the week is about how to make my fantasy team better. It gets me out of reality, but that fantasy can pay off if your fantasy team wins. (6)
On to my next point.
• Have a remote control
This is an easy way to keep your blood pressure from getting too high. When your team starts doing bad, take the remote, don't throw it, but just flip the channel to the Food Network or the History Channel for 10 minutes. Then, it can be OK to flip back and see how your team has improved. If they still are playing unacceptably, continue to channel surf until you find an old episode of "The Andy Griffith Show." (7)
• Watch "America's Game"
Have you ever seen these NFL documentaries on past Super Bowl champions? They are told by the players who played in the games, talking about their season that year. They are the best films the NFL has made, and no matter what team you cheer for, these DVDs are a great way to learn about the history of the Super Bowl Ð because if you like a bad team, they sure aren't going to be in it this year. This is a very good way to get away from watching football that just isn't worth watching anymore. (8)
Are we doing any better yet? Yes? Well, just in case you are still having trouble coping with a terrible season, let's continue.
• Yelling can be a good thing.
Just in moderation.
Please, don't go ape crazy at a restaurant, and if at home, don't do it every game. It's not healthy. But, I have figured out to save it to a point of the season when things are at its worst. For me, this season, it was the night Tony Romo was injured against the Giants. I knew right then and there all hope was over for the season. I may have "lost it," so to speak, but I didn't curse (surprisingly). That was the last time I really yelled at the so-called Dallas Cowboys this year. (9)
For Bengals fans, it was probably Monday night against the Pittsburgh Steelers, knowing their season was over.
Sigh, this is harder than I expected.
• Let's concentrate on the good things.
At least we are watching the great game of football. What better way to spend a fall or winter weekend than watching football. I try to remember though my team is down (OK, they are awful), there will be better times ahead. Right? I sure hope so, sigh.
What's the saying? There's always next year. It's OK to be angry at your team (10). In fact, it's OK to let them know you are angry. But here is my word of advice if you are deciding to leave your team for another: Players always change, but the team will always be there (unless they skip town like the Baltimore Colts or the old Cleveland Browns, but mostly, they will be there).
It can't get any worse, can it? (11)
All of us can get through this, but we have to survive it first. (12)
Stephen Forsha is the sports editor of The Highland County Press. (13)[[In-content Ad]]