Five simple rules to make your meal happy at ballparks
By
Stephen Forsha-sforsha@gmail.com
Is it sad that I have rules for eating at baseball games?
I don't think so. In fact, I consider it a must when attending America's Pastime.
With most sports, it really doesn't matter what is served at the venue, but with baseball, that is different for me.
The song doesn't go, "Take me out to the ballgame, take me out to the crowd. Buy me some peanuts and sushi."
Yeah, I know we live in the United States of America and we have freedom and choices, but this season, I find it somewhat strange Great American Ballpark sells sushi at the games this year. But oh well, I don't have to buy it, and plus, it goes against one of my rules when eating at ballparks across this great country we live in.
So far in my lifetime, I have visited ballparks in Cincinnati and Cleveland, two in Chicago, Boston and Seattle. Plus a college one in Tennessee. Most of the parks I've visited have been for MLB games, but I went to the old Cooper Stadium in Columbus and hope to visit their newest one this summer. Not to mention viewing games in Chillicothe and numerous high school parks has been an experience as well.
For me, I really don't care what they sell at ballparks. They can sell mystery meat or Hot Pockets and I could care less. The thing is, I would never purchase a Hot Pocket at a baseball game no matter how cheap it is. That is against one of my rules of ball park purchasing. I would purchase nachos, which is a column all of its own.
Sorry, maybe I am old school in some of my beliefs in baseball food purchasing. Like the fact I consider a hamburger more of a football food than baseball. Or the fact the hot dogs and Big Red Smokies are OK to buy; in fact, if you've never had one and are a carnivore, you might have committed a baseball sin. (Just something to think about.)
Now, you are probably like, “what kind of rules does this jerk have that are a must for fine dining?”
I am glad you have asked. I think I should get you these rules before you decide to purchase something that might make others, or just idiots like me, point and laugh at you during a game.
So please, please, I am begging you to take this list with you to each and every game you attend because there are my Top 5 rules. Think about this list the next time it is your turn at the concession stands when you are enjoying a game at the ballpark.
No. 1 — Unless allergic to them, ALWAYS have a bag of roasted/salted shelled
peanuts.
I thought I would start easy and go with having a bag of peanuts at a game. This is the perfect snack if you aren't that hungry but want something to snack on. Plus, this is a feel-free-to-be-messy food and nobody-will-look-down-at-you type of food. It doesn't matter if you overpay at the park for your nuts or buy them cheaper at the store or from a street vendor, just as long as you have your bag of nuts ready to crack open during a ball game. For this guy, I usually go the cheaper route and bring my own bag.
Also, with peanuts in the shell, most of them taste the same, right? But if you haven't noticed, there are always a few individual peanuts that have more taste to them. I can't explain it, but sometimes when I am watching games with my friends, one of us is usually like, "I got one," and I will know exactly what they are talking about. Yeah, I know weird, right?
No. 2 — No food purchased at a ballpark can end with the letter "I."
So, unless there is a regional food that ends with the letter "i," my rule is that the food item is a no-no for baseball games. OK, I will allow Pepsi for a drink, but that is it. Got it? OK, I know I may sound a bit pushy in my rules, but if I let one have a little more leeway than another, well, that is stereotyping and I will not be a part of that. So if someone is drinking a Pepsi and eating sushi in, say, Pittsburgh, in my book that is just as bad as watching a called third strike that was a fastball, belt high for the final out of the inning. So that translates into, don't do it!
No 3. — Desserts are evil. Ice cream passes the test.
I love desserts away from a baseball stadium or ballpark, but when I am watching the Reds by the river in Cincinnati, tasty cakes and sweet treats are the last thing on my mind. (OK, probably not, but still stay with me and my rules. Heck, I even follow these rules.)
The reason I say ice cream works at baseball games is that during the summer when it is hot and sticky, what better way to cool off and fight off heatstroke than to eat Dippin Dots? Or if you are wanting to walk a fine line with these runs, you can have the ice cream that comes in the plastic baseball cups. UDF frosted malts work, too. Flavored ice is okay, too. Like Reds radio broadcaster Jeff Brantley says about ice cream, the only reason he puts seven scoops in his cup at UDF is because eight won't fit.
So with ice cream, just stick to the basics. Foods considered desserts: candy bars, taffy and cotton candy (just because I don't like it). So you more than likely will not see me purchase these when watching professional baseball.
No. 4 — Hot dogs are a must.
The first smell that goes to your senses when you get near the ballpark is the smell of hot dogs in the air. If I am lying, then I am dying, but as I recall, that is what I smell when I am walking to a game. For me, that is one of the things that symbolizes summer is here, or at least the fact the winter season has rounded third and headed for home. The hot dog at a baseball park is as American as, well, hot dogs and apple pie.
Now each ballpark has a different way they sell hot dogs, or different hot dogs altogether.
Don't ask why I know this, but I do.
Cincinnati has Kahn's hot dogs and Big Red Smokies. At Wrigley Field, it is Hebrew National and poppy seed buns. Cleveland sells hot dogs with their special brown mustard and sauerkraut. Seattle has a jumbo dog, and it is custom there to spread cream cheese on a toasted bun when serving their style of hot dog; at least that is what their street vendors do. Boston has a different type of bun, which I'm not gonna lie, caught me off guard. (Sorry, I refuse to call hot dogs by any other name, including wiener and frankfurter.) My own preference is just mustard and relish on the hot dog, just like in the Alabama song, "Cheap Seats."
No. 5— Regional food is OK
Sometimes when you are traveling, you just want something different. And if you happen to be at a baseball game, I guess if the different type of food happens to be a staple of the region that you are traveling in, it would be acceptable to enjoy the food at the ballpark as well. For example: BBQ in Kansas City, chowder in Boston, or pizza in Chicago is OK. In Cincinnati, I guess the regional food is Skyline or Gold Star.
Still being a traditionalist when it comes to ballpark food, the only different thing I can remember buying is pizza at a White Sox game in Chicago last summer. The pizza wasn't very good and the Sox lost, so all-in-all, besides seeing the stadium, it wasn't a good day of baseball for me. That is what happens when I don't stick to the basics.
Other foods, such as nachos, soft pretzels, and any kind of beverage can be apart of the rules list as well.
I know my rules may sound a bit out-dated or simple-minded, but all-in-all, if you follow these simple five easy rules for baseball dining, you will be able to enjoy a quality meal, and have fun at the ballpark. The best way to not break these rules and get all the best baseball foods at the same time is to purchase the all-you-can-eat seats at GABP for $35. They have all the great baseball foods in one stop. When I had those seats I was like Shoeless Joe in "Field of Dreams" as I asked the vendors, "Is this heaven?" (Maybe I didn't ask out loud, but I was thinking it.)
And if you break these rules, all I can say is: "One, two, three strikes you're out at the old ball game."
Stephen Forsha is the sports editor for The Highland County Press.[[In-content Ad]]
I don't think so. In fact, I consider it a must when attending America's Pastime.
With most sports, it really doesn't matter what is served at the venue, but with baseball, that is different for me.
The song doesn't go, "Take me out to the ballgame, take me out to the crowd. Buy me some peanuts and sushi."
Yeah, I know we live in the United States of America and we have freedom and choices, but this season, I find it somewhat strange Great American Ballpark sells sushi at the games this year. But oh well, I don't have to buy it, and plus, it goes against one of my rules when eating at ballparks across this great country we live in.
So far in my lifetime, I have visited ballparks in Cincinnati and Cleveland, two in Chicago, Boston and Seattle. Plus a college one in Tennessee. Most of the parks I've visited have been for MLB games, but I went to the old Cooper Stadium in Columbus and hope to visit their newest one this summer. Not to mention viewing games in Chillicothe and numerous high school parks has been an experience as well.
For me, I really don't care what they sell at ballparks. They can sell mystery meat or Hot Pockets and I could care less. The thing is, I would never purchase a Hot Pocket at a baseball game no matter how cheap it is. That is against one of my rules of ball park purchasing. I would purchase nachos, which is a column all of its own.
Sorry, maybe I am old school in some of my beliefs in baseball food purchasing. Like the fact I consider a hamburger more of a football food than baseball. Or the fact the hot dogs and Big Red Smokies are OK to buy; in fact, if you've never had one and are a carnivore, you might have committed a baseball sin. (Just something to think about.)
Now, you are probably like, “what kind of rules does this jerk have that are a must for fine dining?”
I am glad you have asked. I think I should get you these rules before you decide to purchase something that might make others, or just idiots like me, point and laugh at you during a game.
So please, please, I am begging you to take this list with you to each and every game you attend because there are my Top 5 rules. Think about this list the next time it is your turn at the concession stands when you are enjoying a game at the ballpark.
No. 1 — Unless allergic to them, ALWAYS have a bag of roasted/salted shelled
peanuts.
I thought I would start easy and go with having a bag of peanuts at a game. This is the perfect snack if you aren't that hungry but want something to snack on. Plus, this is a feel-free-to-be-messy food and nobody-will-look-down-at-you type of food. It doesn't matter if you overpay at the park for your nuts or buy them cheaper at the store or from a street vendor, just as long as you have your bag of nuts ready to crack open during a ball game. For this guy, I usually go the cheaper route and bring my own bag.
Also, with peanuts in the shell, most of them taste the same, right? But if you haven't noticed, there are always a few individual peanuts that have more taste to them. I can't explain it, but sometimes when I am watching games with my friends, one of us is usually like, "I got one," and I will know exactly what they are talking about. Yeah, I know weird, right?
No. 2 — No food purchased at a ballpark can end with the letter "I."
So, unless there is a regional food that ends with the letter "i," my rule is that the food item is a no-no for baseball games. OK, I will allow Pepsi for a drink, but that is it. Got it? OK, I know I may sound a bit pushy in my rules, but if I let one have a little more leeway than another, well, that is stereotyping and I will not be a part of that. So if someone is drinking a Pepsi and eating sushi in, say, Pittsburgh, in my book that is just as bad as watching a called third strike that was a fastball, belt high for the final out of the inning. So that translates into, don't do it!
No 3. — Desserts are evil. Ice cream passes the test.
I love desserts away from a baseball stadium or ballpark, but when I am watching the Reds by the river in Cincinnati, tasty cakes and sweet treats are the last thing on my mind. (OK, probably not, but still stay with me and my rules. Heck, I even follow these rules.)
The reason I say ice cream works at baseball games is that during the summer when it is hot and sticky, what better way to cool off and fight off heatstroke than to eat Dippin Dots? Or if you are wanting to walk a fine line with these runs, you can have the ice cream that comes in the plastic baseball cups. UDF frosted malts work, too. Flavored ice is okay, too. Like Reds radio broadcaster Jeff Brantley says about ice cream, the only reason he puts seven scoops in his cup at UDF is because eight won't fit.
So with ice cream, just stick to the basics. Foods considered desserts: candy bars, taffy and cotton candy (just because I don't like it). So you more than likely will not see me purchase these when watching professional baseball.
No. 4 — Hot dogs are a must.
The first smell that goes to your senses when you get near the ballpark is the smell of hot dogs in the air. If I am lying, then I am dying, but as I recall, that is what I smell when I am walking to a game. For me, that is one of the things that symbolizes summer is here, or at least the fact the winter season has rounded third and headed for home. The hot dog at a baseball park is as American as, well, hot dogs and apple pie.
Now each ballpark has a different way they sell hot dogs, or different hot dogs altogether.
Don't ask why I know this, but I do.
Cincinnati has Kahn's hot dogs and Big Red Smokies. At Wrigley Field, it is Hebrew National and poppy seed buns. Cleveland sells hot dogs with their special brown mustard and sauerkraut. Seattle has a jumbo dog, and it is custom there to spread cream cheese on a toasted bun when serving their style of hot dog; at least that is what their street vendors do. Boston has a different type of bun, which I'm not gonna lie, caught me off guard. (Sorry, I refuse to call hot dogs by any other name, including wiener and frankfurter.) My own preference is just mustard and relish on the hot dog, just like in the Alabama song, "Cheap Seats."
No. 5— Regional food is OK
Sometimes when you are traveling, you just want something different. And if you happen to be at a baseball game, I guess if the different type of food happens to be a staple of the region that you are traveling in, it would be acceptable to enjoy the food at the ballpark as well. For example: BBQ in Kansas City, chowder in Boston, or pizza in Chicago is OK. In Cincinnati, I guess the regional food is Skyline or Gold Star.
Still being a traditionalist when it comes to ballpark food, the only different thing I can remember buying is pizza at a White Sox game in Chicago last summer. The pizza wasn't very good and the Sox lost, so all-in-all, besides seeing the stadium, it wasn't a good day of baseball for me. That is what happens when I don't stick to the basics.
Other foods, such as nachos, soft pretzels, and any kind of beverage can be apart of the rules list as well.
I know my rules may sound a bit out-dated or simple-minded, but all-in-all, if you follow these simple five easy rules for baseball dining, you will be able to enjoy a quality meal, and have fun at the ballpark. The best way to not break these rules and get all the best baseball foods at the same time is to purchase the all-you-can-eat seats at GABP for $35. They have all the great baseball foods in one stop. When I had those seats I was like Shoeless Joe in "Field of Dreams" as I asked the vendors, "Is this heaven?" (Maybe I didn't ask out loud, but I was thinking it.)
And if you break these rules, all I can say is: "One, two, three strikes you're out at the old ball game."
Stephen Forsha is the sports editor for The Highland County Press.[[In-content Ad]]