No more cowbell: Dazed, confused and hypocritical
Lead Summary

By
Rory Ryan-hcpress@cinci.rr.com
Somewhere between Forsythe Road and Richardson Lane in Concord Township today, it occurred to me: "Cowbell" is a derogatory term.
In a column 10 years ago, Highland County Press sports editor Stephen Forsha championed the cowbell. In opining on the 2011 high school basketball season, Mr. Forsha wrote: "I’ve heard cowbell again this year. When I attended a Hillsboro game, I wasn’t feeling too good, but once the game was complete, I’d never felt better. I told everyone last season that cowbell is an amazing thing and is the only cure."
In retrospect, for permitting that serious infraction to be published in The Highland County Press, I apologize to cows everywhere. Cowbell, quite simply, is an offensive term. I deeply regret that one's bovine opine graced the pages of this esteemed fish wrap. (With apologies to all limbless cold-blooded vertebrates with gills and fins living in water.)
It is in this vein, I can appreciate that PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) has released a statement asking for the warm-up area for Major League Baseball relief pitchers to be renamed from "bullpen" to "arm barn" to try to remove what the group feels is a negative connotation.
According to a Sporting News report this week, "PETA is pitching a proposal to the baseball world: Strike out the word 'bullpen,' which references the holding area where terrified bulls are kept before slaughter, in favor of a more modern, animal-friendly term. PETA's suggestion? The 'arm barn.'"
The "arm barn?" Seriously, PETA? You are, no doubt, aware that "arm" also means to supply or provide one with weapons. We can't have that. Before you know it, relief pitchers will be carrying weapons in the old arm barn. By the way, "barn" also is offensive to some of our more portly friends and neighbors who may have heard the phrase "bigger than a barn door."
Arm barn? No. That's at least as offensive as bullpen. Maybe more.
In a statement, PETA Executive Vice President Tracy Reiman said: "Words matter, and baseball 'bullpens' devalue talented players and mock the misery of sensitive animals. PETA encourages Major League Baseball coaches, announcers, players and fans to changeup their language and embrace the 'arm barn' instead."
After reading this, I decided to interview a southern Ohio bull or two this afternoon. The first one, an ornery old Aberdeen Angus near, well, Aberdeen, didn't have much to say about the matter.
"What do you think about the Cincinnati Reds' bullpen being called a bullpen?" I asked.
The Angus replied: "Mooove'em all to Double A." Then, he went back to doing what he does best – eating and releasing more greenhouse gases. (The horror.) Flatulence from a nearby Holstein indicated agreement with the Angus' assessment.
Baseball has been calling its bullpen a bullpen for at least 150 years. The cowbell has been around even longer. To date, there is absolutely zero record of any bovine opine in objection.
Of course, being somewhat dazed and confused lately, this got me to thinking about other disparaging terms used in sports and other moments of diversion.
This being the Chinese Year of the Woke (OK, it's actually the Year of the Ox, yet another exploited bovine), why do we denigrate the equine in professional football by calling an illegal tackle a "horse collar?"
Why do we allow children to play Duck, Duck, Goose?
Why do we call a hunter's advantage a duck blind? Are we insinuating the hunters are blind drunk or that blind ducks are easier to shoot?
If a sports team goes on an extended losing streak, why do we say they are snakebitten? That's rude – even to the world's lowest and most vile reptile.
Why do we allow dominating people to be called cock of the walk? That's demeaning to roosters like Foghorn Leghorn et al.
And don't even let me opine on our canine friends. My dictionary has more derogatory references about dogs than Carter's has little liver pills. A dog can be a person regarded as unpleasant, contemptible, wicked, miserable or unattractive.
PETA may be onto something with the elimination of baseball's bullpen. But they can't stop with just one Pyrrhic victory. They must work toward the ending of all animal-related terms that may or may not be the least bit offensive – not to one damned animal, of course – but to the moronic wokesters who follow the lead of similarly moronic individuals.
Once again, in retrospect, Mr. Forsha was correct a decade ago. We need more cowbell. This, from a lifelong PETA (People Eating Tasty Animals) member.
* * *
God bless James Kilcer
• On a serious note, this week the Yuma (Arizona) County Sheriff's Office honored Yuma resident and Marine James Kilcer. Kilcer disarmed a suspect during a recent attempted armed robbery.
According to the Yuma County Sheriff's Office, "On Oct. 20 at approximately 4:30 a.m., deputies responded to an armed robbery report at a Chevron located on South Fortuna Road. Upon arrival, deputies learned that three suspects entered the Chevron, one of them armed with a handgun. As the armed suspect walked by Mr. Kilcer while pointing the weapon at the cashier, Kilcer reacted without hesitation, quickly disarming the suspect and taking him to the ground. He was able to immediately gain control of the gun and detain the suspect until deputies arrived. As a result, no victims were injured and no property loss was sustained."
Sheriff Leon Wilmot presented Mr. Kilcer the YCSO Citizen’s Valor Award “For extraordinary heroism and exceptional courage while voluntarily coming to the aid of another citizen during an incident involving criminal activity at extreme, life threatening, personal risk in an attempt to save or protect human life.”
The YCSO Citizen’s Valor Award is the highest award for citizens whose actions warrant recognition. The American Legion Post 19, Marine Corps League Territorial Detachment 635, Chevron General Manager, and the Yuma community were also in attendance to award Mr. Kilcer with tokens of appreciation.
The Marine accepted the honor wearing a Make America Great Again ball cap and a T-shirt with an American flag and the words "Let's Go Brandon."
Good work, Marine. Thank you for your service.
Rory Ryan is publisher and owner of The Highland County Press, Highland County's only locally owned and operated newspaper.
In a column 10 years ago, Highland County Press sports editor Stephen Forsha championed the cowbell. In opining on the 2011 high school basketball season, Mr. Forsha wrote: "I’ve heard cowbell again this year. When I attended a Hillsboro game, I wasn’t feeling too good, but once the game was complete, I’d never felt better. I told everyone last season that cowbell is an amazing thing and is the only cure."
In retrospect, for permitting that serious infraction to be published in The Highland County Press, I apologize to cows everywhere. Cowbell, quite simply, is an offensive term. I deeply regret that one's bovine opine graced the pages of this esteemed fish wrap. (With apologies to all limbless cold-blooded vertebrates with gills and fins living in water.)
It is in this vein, I can appreciate that PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) has released a statement asking for the warm-up area for Major League Baseball relief pitchers to be renamed from "bullpen" to "arm barn" to try to remove what the group feels is a negative connotation.
According to a Sporting News report this week, "PETA is pitching a proposal to the baseball world: Strike out the word 'bullpen,' which references the holding area where terrified bulls are kept before slaughter, in favor of a more modern, animal-friendly term. PETA's suggestion? The 'arm barn.'"
The "arm barn?" Seriously, PETA? You are, no doubt, aware that "arm" also means to supply or provide one with weapons. We can't have that. Before you know it, relief pitchers will be carrying weapons in the old arm barn. By the way, "barn" also is offensive to some of our more portly friends and neighbors who may have heard the phrase "bigger than a barn door."
Arm barn? No. That's at least as offensive as bullpen. Maybe more.
In a statement, PETA Executive Vice President Tracy Reiman said: "Words matter, and baseball 'bullpens' devalue talented players and mock the misery of sensitive animals. PETA encourages Major League Baseball coaches, announcers, players and fans to changeup their language and embrace the 'arm barn' instead."
After reading this, I decided to interview a southern Ohio bull or two this afternoon. The first one, an ornery old Aberdeen Angus near, well, Aberdeen, didn't have much to say about the matter.
"What do you think about the Cincinnati Reds' bullpen being called a bullpen?" I asked.
The Angus replied: "Mooove'em all to Double A." Then, he went back to doing what he does best – eating and releasing more greenhouse gases. (The horror.) Flatulence from a nearby Holstein indicated agreement with the Angus' assessment.
Baseball has been calling its bullpen a bullpen for at least 150 years. The cowbell has been around even longer. To date, there is absolutely zero record of any bovine opine in objection.
Of course, being somewhat dazed and confused lately, this got me to thinking about other disparaging terms used in sports and other moments of diversion.
This being the Chinese Year of the Woke (OK, it's actually the Year of the Ox, yet another exploited bovine), why do we denigrate the equine in professional football by calling an illegal tackle a "horse collar?"
Why do we allow children to play Duck, Duck, Goose?
Why do we call a hunter's advantage a duck blind? Are we insinuating the hunters are blind drunk or that blind ducks are easier to shoot?
If a sports team goes on an extended losing streak, why do we say they are snakebitten? That's rude – even to the world's lowest and most vile reptile.
Why do we allow dominating people to be called cock of the walk? That's demeaning to roosters like Foghorn Leghorn et al.
And don't even let me opine on our canine friends. My dictionary has more derogatory references about dogs than Carter's has little liver pills. A dog can be a person regarded as unpleasant, contemptible, wicked, miserable or unattractive.
PETA may be onto something with the elimination of baseball's bullpen. But they can't stop with just one Pyrrhic victory. They must work toward the ending of all animal-related terms that may or may not be the least bit offensive – not to one damned animal, of course – but to the moronic wokesters who follow the lead of similarly moronic individuals.
Once again, in retrospect, Mr. Forsha was correct a decade ago. We need more cowbell. This, from a lifelong PETA (People Eating Tasty Animals) member.
* * *
God bless James Kilcer
• On a serious note, this week the Yuma (Arizona) County Sheriff's Office honored Yuma resident and Marine James Kilcer. Kilcer disarmed a suspect during a recent attempted armed robbery.
According to the Yuma County Sheriff's Office, "On Oct. 20 at approximately 4:30 a.m., deputies responded to an armed robbery report at a Chevron located on South Fortuna Road. Upon arrival, deputies learned that three suspects entered the Chevron, one of them armed with a handgun. As the armed suspect walked by Mr. Kilcer while pointing the weapon at the cashier, Kilcer reacted without hesitation, quickly disarming the suspect and taking him to the ground. He was able to immediately gain control of the gun and detain the suspect until deputies arrived. As a result, no victims were injured and no property loss was sustained."
Sheriff Leon Wilmot presented Mr. Kilcer the YCSO Citizen’s Valor Award “For extraordinary heroism and exceptional courage while voluntarily coming to the aid of another citizen during an incident involving criminal activity at extreme, life threatening, personal risk in an attempt to save or protect human life.”
The YCSO Citizen’s Valor Award is the highest award for citizens whose actions warrant recognition. The American Legion Post 19, Marine Corps League Territorial Detachment 635, Chevron General Manager, and the Yuma community were also in attendance to award Mr. Kilcer with tokens of appreciation.
The Marine accepted the honor wearing a Make America Great Again ball cap and a T-shirt with an American flag and the words "Let's Go Brandon."
Good work, Marine. Thank you for your service.
Rory Ryan is publisher and owner of The Highland County Press, Highland County's only locally owned and operated newspaper.