Lying in comfort

By Jim Thompson
For The Highland County Press
If you fly a lot, as I do, where you stand in the boarding line can be of great importance, if you let it get to you.
Since airlines started charging for baggage, everyone is dragging an SUV full of junk on board and the overhead bins fill rapidly. The fight for space has become intense.
Living in the greater Atlanta area, I fly Delta. In fact, I am a "million-miler" (as I explain to people, I flew 950,000 miles before 9/11 and 50,000 since – thanks to TSA, I'll drive anything under 12 hours of road time).
Anyway, being a "million-miler" means my boarding status is always "Zone 1." This should make one feel good as you print out your boarding pass at home (a service the airlines used to do for free).
However, it didn't take me long to realize that "Zone 1" is really "Zone 4."
Here is how it works.
First, the airline loads, "families traveling with infants and those needing a bit of extra time to board." Then, they load First Class. Then, they load Sky Priority customers (Gold, Platinum and Diamond Medallion Members). Then, they get to Zone 1, which, if you have been counting along with me, is really Zone 4.
Note: I am not whining. It is a privilege to have a job, and particularly a traveling one, which I love. Stay on task here; we are talking about how companies make you feel good.
I also understand when it comes to women's dress sizes, the girth has been expanding while the size has not, especially in the higher end trade. (Note: I have learned this by hearsay. I am not Corporal Max Klinger; but I am smart enough not to buy textiles for my wife. However, I understand if you pulled a size, let's say, 9, off the rack today, it would fit a much larger person than a size 9 of 1970. It makes the purchaser feel better and they don't have to go to any meetings talking about how great vegetables are or 27 ways to fix a Kiwi.)
Another example. I belong to a volunteer organization. It takes quite a bit of time and costs a great deal of out-of-pocket money. It is all for a good cause, however. We do search and rescue, tornado cleanup and so forth. However, just my opinion, the upper chain of command heaps on praise when praise is not deserved, especially during training sessions.
If I were in charge, I would send most of us home to think about getting our act together. If these were paying jobs, I would fire 90 percent of the participants. More feel good stuff for less than stellar results.
I hope you see the link between the three vignettes above. Essentially, people are lied to in order to make them feel good. Unfortunately, what happens in one part of our lives spills over into other parts. Over time, we accept poor performance, from ourselves and others, as the norm in all aspects of life.
We fail even to visualize what things could be if all were to perform to a higher standard. And we copy.
A couple of weeks ago, my wife and I were in Vienna, Austria. So, all the tourist literature hypes that you have to go to the Vienna Opera. Of course, it is sold out every night. However, if you want, you can show up within three hours of show time and buy standing-room-only positions.
We took the bait, shelled out our six bucks apiece, and did our standing. The area was run by a lady who must have been closely related to Attila the Hun. She squeezed us in like sardines and allowed no funny business. ("You must check the coats, young man!")
The night we went, they happened to be doing a show about pasta, Tortellini, or some such name – which makes sense, since they sing the whole darned thing in Italian (or so they tell me, I haven't a clue).
We stayed for an hour. But now I can tell you the old farm boy from Ohio has been to the Vienna Opera. Doesn't that make me feel good about me and superior to you? More comfort lies. (Not! You faithful readers know me better than this.)
By the way, the only thing I can figure out about the opera thing is that television in Vienna, Austria must be much worse than television in New Vienna, Ohio. Otherwise, how could they pack them in every night just to hear Chef Boyardee commercials in Italian?
Reruns of the Golden Girls are more interesting than this.
Bottom line? Have high standards and hold other people to them as well. We are slowly sinking into mediocrity.
Jim Thompson, formerly of Marshall, is a graduate of Hillsboro High School and the University of Cincinnati. He resides in Duluth, Ga., following decades of wandering the world, and is a columnist for The Highland County Press.
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