Guide to the Democrats' convention

By Jim Thompson
HCP columnist
When the Democrats gather in Charlotte this week, there will be a number of interesting things to watch.
This is my little laundry list.
First and foremost, they will call it the "Democratic National Convention."
Words matter, and the two main parties have been fighting over the official name of this one for years. The Republicans like to needle the Democrats and insist their name is the "Democrat National Party," not the "Democratic National Party."
I'll be surprised if this comes up, but it could.
Then there is Hurricane Isaac. Expect the Democrats to try to tie the Republicans' partying in Tampa to whatever devastation Isaac causes. Of course, Obama will take credit for saving the day in New Orleans. no matter what happens. Let's see if he mentions Governor Bobby Jindal in any way that is not condescending.
Now, the Democrats think they have a winning argument in portraying themselves as the party that protects women. It is reported that Sandra Fluke (somewhere between 23 and 30 years old), hardly the innocent child she portrays herself to be, is going to speak.
So is Bill Clinton. While Bill Clinton is speaking, it might be worthwhile to have a moment of silence and ponder what has happened to Monica Lewinsky, who was 22 when he ruined her life.
Of course, there will be a tribute to Neil Armstrong. It will be tied into President Kennedy's challenge to get us to the moon in the 1960s. Neil placed his foot on the moon on July 20, 1969. What were other Kennedys doing at that time? Well, Ted was worrying and consulting with his lawyers. Mary Jo Kopechne, age 28, had just drowned in his car less than 48 hours before under very suspicious circumstances. (What was that about the Democrats protecting women?)
Next, expect lots of vignettes of people with tragic life stories. These will indeed be sorrowful cases, and ones deserving our support. They are designed to elicit sympathy and they will. But then will come the big lie, Part 1: How Democrats will protect these people and ones like them while the Republicans will not.
The big lie, Part 2, will be that there are zillions of people in a similar situation that, again, Democrats will protect while Republicans will not. This is an emotional appeal backed up with nothing.
In this celebrity crazed world, expect lots of them, on the podium, in the crowd, gushing about President Obama.
Think about how much money they make and how easy it is for them to think you should happily pay more for the "good of the country." Look closely at them: Do you see any with degrees in economics? Do you think they balance their own checkbook? Do you think they could?
You'll hear a lot about how the Republicans will not compromise. If anything is brought up about the lack of budgets and the deficit, it will be blamed on the Republicans.
However, don't expect to hear that the poverty level is the same as it was when Lyndon Johnson started the War on Poverty; nor that, in aggregate, about $16 trillion has been spent on these programs with no result.
Also, don't expect to hear about how Tip O'Neill, speaker of the House of Representatives and lifelong Democrat, worked closely with President Reagan to realign taxes back in the 1980s. Or maybe you will hear there was a small increase in business taxes in their compromise.
Expect to hear a lot about Obamacare and how that makes us like other civilized countries.
Don't expect to see any interviews with Canadians who come to the U.S. for health care because it is impossible to receive timely and decent health care in Canada under their universal health care system.
The Chevy Volt will not be mentioned.
Nor will GM's announcement to suspend its production from Sept. 17 to Oct. 15.
Expect a big scare, or a big surprise.
President Obama must find a way to motivate the base to come out and vote for him. There are only two ways to do this. Paint the Republicans as so awful that they can never be allowed into office again or play Santa Claus.
Playing Santa Claus is going to be hard to do, for he has already given the base and the fringe everything he can think of giving them.
So, look for the big scare, probably delivered by Joe Biden.
Whatever you do, relax and enjoy. And be prepared to hear that old ditty, "Happy Days are Here Again" about a thousand times. After 80 years (that song was Franklin Roosevelt's theme) you would think they could come up with a new one. Or not. They have stubbornly stuck to the same failed policies for 80 years, so no reason to change the song.
Jim Thompson, formerly of Marshall, is a graduate of Hillsboro High School and the University of Cincinnati. He resides in Duluth, Ga., following decades of wandering the world, and is a columnist for The Highland County Press.
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