Fr. Mike Paraniuk
Fr. Mike Paraniuk
By Fr. Mike Paraniuk
St. Mary Catholic Church
and St. Benignus Church


A race of aliens visits earth one day. They come in peace and even speak English. All the government and religious leaders want to speak to the aliens.

When it's the pope's turn, he asks: "Do you know about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?"

"You mean J.C?," responds the alien. "Yeah, we know him. He's the greatest, isn't he? Jesus swings by every year to make sure that we are doing OK."

Surprised, the pope follows up with "He visits you every year? It's been over 2,000 years, and we're still waiting for his second coming!"

The alien sees that the pope has become upset at this fact. They try to calm the pope by saying "Maybe he likes our chocolate better than yours?"

The pope retorts "Chocolates? What does that have to do with anything?"

The alien says “When Jesus first visited our planet, we gave him a big party and a huge box of chocolates. What did you guys do?"

The Good News is not that Jesus came to Earth. The Good News is not what we humans did to Him, but what Jesus did for us.

The Good News is that Jesus died and rose to new life. Jesus destroyed the greatest evil our world has ever known – death. Jesus restored the greatest joy that humans can ever know – life forever. Jesus calls you to believe this Good News and proclaim it by your life.

What happens to your life when you accept the call to believe?

Expect these three things to happen: 1) God will make your heart good. A good heart will be known by its loving fruit. He will protect you from the poison of sin in this world. If the snake of temptation bites you, God will not allow any demon to have power over you. 2) You can frequently talk with God in a new language called prayer. A believer will hear God when He speak. 3) A good heart, listening to God speak, will always find God and know His will. It really is not too difficult to find God.

The bible says, “Then you will call upon Me and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:12-13.)

Three nurses appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates. St. Peter said to the first, "Tell me what you did on earth."

Said she, "I was a birthing room nurse. I helped bring hundreds of precious babies into the world."

"Enter!" said St. Peter. Then he turned to the second. "And how about you?" he asked.

She replied, "I was a trauma unit nurse. I helped save hundreds of lives of people involved in terrible accidents."

"Enter!" cried St. Peter and turned to the third.

"I worked for an HMO," she admitted. "Over the years, I saved my company hundreds of thousands of dollars by refusing extended care to people who were trying to bilk the system."

"You may enter!" said St. Peter.

"You really mean it?" asked the nurse incredulously.

"Yes," replied St. Peter. "You've been pre-approved for three days."

If you have a good heart, listen to the Lord and use your life to do God’s will. Jesus will approve you for an unlimited days of joy. The theologian Max Lucado wrote, “On the eve of the Cross, Jesus made His decision. He would rather go to hell for you than go to Heaven without you.”

Happy Ascension Sunday.